AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He nodded.
“At least part time. I’ll talk to Anders to see what’s permissible.”
“Right.” He looked disappointed again. “You understand, don’t you?” He said suddenly.
I shrugged. I didn’t want to hear what I already knew.
“It’s Daniel,” he went on, his eyes begging me to tell him it was okay. “I have to do better for him. Be the right kind of man.”
The unhappy kind, I wanted to say. But I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. “Okay,” I said instead. Wasn’t I leaving anyway? Who was I to tell him he was doing things wrong?
“I just have to see him succeed. Grow up and establish himself.”
“And then?” I asked.
“That’s it,” he said.
That was it. He refused to make any plans for himself, refused to do anything to claim a piece of his own happiness. Instead, he’d martyr himself in the name of his son, out of fear of his ex-wife, and in the name of being a better man. But he couldn’t see that half a man would never be enough for anyone, especially himself.
“Okay,” I said. “So I’ll see you Saturday afternoon to set up.”
“Right,” he said, sounding defeated as the porch lights illuminated his burnished hair from behind, making him look like he was wearing a halo. My heart twisted a little, watching him. It hurt for me, for what I felt like I’d gotten a tiny little taste of and then had snatched away. But it hurt more for him. Because if Michael Tucker were willing to accept that he deserved to be happy too, that maybe we were happy together, then I’d fight for it. But he had to fight first.
I turned and walked back out the big iron gates, feeling a little bit like I’d turned back the clock to the first days after I’d been home from New York.
My heart ached. My soul felt wrung out.
And I was tired. So tired.
31
Emmett Speaks
Michael
“Ithought you were supposed to be the smart one,” Emmett said, shaking his head Thursday at the store as we hauled heavy rubber matting from one place to another to make room for the fall seasonal items.
“What the hell does that mean?” I asked. My voice was harsh, and it matched my mood. I’d been angry and frustrated since the weekend, and having Addie stop by to tell me she was going back to New York just made the entire world look bleak and hopeless.
It was ridiculous. A week ago, I’d felt like every day was a new adventure, like even discovering a raccoon infestation was exciting.
Now?
There was nothing to look forward to but an endless parade of days without Daniel interspersed by days with him. The handoff of my son was the only thing that really marked time going forward and even that might potentially be coming to an end if Shelly had her way.
“It means,” Emmett said, coming to stand in front of me with his thick arms crossed and sweat trickling down his face. “That you are a dumbass.”
Virgil took up a spot next to Emmett, nodding his stringy-haired agreement.
“The first time I’ve heard you put more than two words together in five years it was to tell me that?” I asked, pushing around them to stack another heavy mat. The punishing work felt like a debt I owed, and I hoped it would wear me out enough to fall straight to sleep instead of laying for hours wondering what Addie was doing.
“That Tanner chick liked you, loser,” Emmett said.
Oh God. Was I really going to have to have a heart-to-heart with these two?
“Okay, thanks for your input.” I turned and picked up another mat.
“And you’re wrecking it,” he pointed out.
