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Cormac rubbed a hand over his face and leaned forward, dropping his forearms on his knees. "What was it this time? Something that would lead to an aneurysm, no doubt."
April's eyes widened as they flew to Cormac and stayed on his face. "Yes," she said, her voice showing her surprise.
"This isn't the first time," he said wearily, and my heart clenched with sympathy.
"I guess Taylor told her that if you…um, well, that if you go number one and number two at the same time…"
"It'll cause an aneurysm and you'll die like Linda did," Cormac finished for her.
I felt myself deflate, suddenly feeling ashamed that my own happiness had been keeping me from noticing how my family was struggling.
April nodded and looked guilty, as if she'd invented this bit of ridiculousness herself. "I assured her that wasn't true," April said.
"Taylor's been searching for a reason, I guess. Something that caused the burst that killed her mother." Cormac leaned back again. "I'm hoping it’s just a phase. Doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell her it wasn't a thing she did that caused it, that it isn't something that will happen to her."
"She's just trying to process it, I guess," I said. It made sense to me. I’d been trying to process my own injury—why it had been me, why it had happened at all.
"I just wish she'd stop terrifying Maddie in the process," Cormac said.
I sighed and leaned back, wishing there was something I could do to help my brother.
17
Enter the Wizard
Callan
It had been a long evening, one that had ended with me coaxing Maddie from the bathroom and then agreeing to go visit an ice castle—whatever that was—with Callan’s family.
It was hard to say no to a tiny girl with wild blond curls and garlic bread stuffed into her mouth. And while I wasn't sure what an ice castle was, or if spending all my free time with Callan's adorable family was the right thing to do, I wasn't about to let Maddie down.
And there was something in the way Callan was looking at me too. The light shining in those dark magnetic eyes matched Maddie's in a way—hopeful, eager. Or was I just imagining it?
I realized I probably needed to take a step back and do some thinking. I’d ridden the wave of impulse most of my life—in college relationships that had always moved too fast and gone horribly wrong, usually because I thought something was happening that definitely wasn't, and then later in my career. Impulse felt good, but I knew it was not my friend, even if its tiny curly-headed sidekick was adorable.
"An ice castle," Cormac had explained as we’d finished dinner, "is a tent in the park where everything inside is constructed of ice. It's a little like the ice hotels you read about in travel magazines—only on a much smaller scale." He shrugged. "This is Southern Maryland, after all."
I wasn't sure what the geographic caveat was about, but the ice castle sounded interesting. "So do they actually carve a castle from ice?"
"Sounds like it, right?" Cormac said, and the glint in his eyes and the wry twist of his mouth told me that this castle might be slightly less grand and royal than my imaginings. But I knew Cormac wouldn't dash his daughters' hopes.
"It sounds incredible," I said, putting extra emphasis into my words as I had grinned at Maddie and Taylor.
Taylor had lowered her fork and given me a frank look. "Practice is at ten. We'll go the ice castle afterwards. You guys can meet us at the studio." After this incredibly grown-up declaration of organized planning, Taylor had picked her fork up and continued eating, leaving Callan and I to exchange glances.
"Are you free tomorrow?" Callan had asked.
"You guys really don't have to—" Cormac started.
"I'm coming either way," Callan assured him.
Warring emotions had whirled in my chest. Here was a real family doing real family things—something I hadn't gotten once my father had decided to play Santa's Helper for the rest of my childhood somewhere far away from me. But it also wasn't my family. It was like a movie I was watching, and I knew that there would be an end to the movie, and that it could be a sad one that would make me cry. But just like withSteel Magnolias,I couldn't stop watching even though I knew how it would end. I nodded. "I'm free," I said to Callan, swallowing hard.
A smile crept slowly across his full lips, lifting just the corners at first and then revealing the shining white teeth, as his dimples appeared in the stubble at the sides of his mouth and the mesmerizing eyes glowed. And in that second, I knew something else had just happened. I’d said yes to more than a ballet rehearsal and a tour through a tent full of ice cubes. I’d said yes to Callan Whitewood. Yes to whatever was possible here, for whatever amount of time. And damn the consequences.
I had pushed away the voice warning me about impulsivity, reminding me about every bad decision I’d ever made.
Callan's gleaming eyes were impossible to resist, and I lifted my wine glass to the amazing family around the table before me. "Tell me more about this castle," I said, and I allowed myself to settle into the warmth and happiness I felt, even knowing it might be fleeting.
