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"What?" Her eyes found my face and I reluctantly dropped her hand. "What about your privacy, and your peace, and your general desire to be surly and miserable and alone in your big old house?"
"Ouch." I stood to face her in the close space, the size of the cottage forcing us to stand just inches apart. "I deserved that, I guess." I imagined I could feel the warmth radiating off her body, and I could definitely smell her—vanilla and citrus and cinnamon. Wild thoughts ran through my head, and I imagined myself lifting a hand to bury in all that thick hair, pushing her back against the wall and kissing her hard. I tried to clear my mind, but was finding it very difficult as April stared up at me through dark thick lashes.
"Are you serious?" Her voice was almost a whisper, and her eyes were locked on mine, pulling me in. "About the show?"
I meant to say yes. I meant to agree to let them film my house and then go back to my car and go home. But my mind was working through other scenarios, and I couldn't seem to control it. And my mouth and my mind were running their own plays, ignoring the advice of my better judgment. "Have dinner with me," my mouth said while my better judgment stood on the sidelines yelling, "no, you moron! What the hell are you doing?" It was weird how my better judgment sounded a lot like the Sharks' old coach.
"What?" April looked as surprised as I felt at the words that had just come from my mouth.
I was already in it. So I went ahead. Hesitation never won me a thing. Not on the pitch. Maybe not here. “Have dinner with me. We'll talk about it."
Her chest was rising and falling, and she stood there without saying anything for a long minute, her eyes wide. "Okay," she finally said. "Dinner. We'll talk about it." She ducked out the door then, breaking the spell that had held us inches from one another, staring into each other's eyes, breathing the same air. And as I followed her from Santa's house and back into the over-decorated lobby, something I hadn't felt in a long time took root in my chest and glowed there.
I realized the feeling was hope.
* * *
I walked just behind April as we left the hotel, descending the front steps and arriving on the sidewalk as a chilly wind blew through the small town of Singletree. And once there, we stopped and looked at each other.
"Where do people eat here?" I asked her. I hadn't left my house often, and had definitely not been out exploring the culinary options in my new town.
April shook her head slowly, her eyes never leaving my face. "I have no idea."
"There must be something. Come on." We wandered up to the town square, where an enormous sleigh now sat on the grassy area near the central tree, the reins attached to a single feeble-looking reindeer. As we walked by, I got a better look at the thing, and while the sleigh was enormous, gleaming beneath a sheen of enamel red paint, the deer had absolutely seen better days. Its fur was coming off in patches, and one side of its head was pressed in a bit, making the eye on that side point in the wrong direction.
"What happened here?" April wondered aloud. "Poor little guy. Looks like he's seen better days. Where are all the other reindeer? Aren't there supposed to be like six or seven? Dasher, Dancer, Rudolph?"
I nodded. "This must be Thrasher."
April stopped walking. "I'm not a holiday expert, but I'm pretty sure there's no reindeer named Thrasher."
"Well, you don't hear about him much," I told her. "He's the hard partying reindeer. Tends to overdo it and alienate the others, who are way more puritanical. You know Blitzen? He's in that twelve-step program now, and Prancer is a tee-totaler."
April's eyes widened as she held in a laugh, her cheeks turning pink. "Oh really?" She said, letting out a little guffaw. "Tell me more. I had no idea you were such a wealth of esoteric Christmas lore."
"Esoteric Christmas lore is my specialty," I quipped, nearly desperate to keep April smiling and laughing. This. This was the girl who’d bounced into my house that first day. My brain hummed as I realized how much I wanted to keep her.
We crossed behind the sleigh, both of us heading for the glowing restaurant across the way, which appeared to be the only option on the square. We stepped inside together, leaving the cold chill of the street behind as the warm atmosphere of the restaurant engulfed us.
"Welcome to Sam's Shack," the girl at the podium said.
"Normally I try to limit visits to restaurants called 'shacks' to a minimum," I said quietly into April's ear. "But since this is the only option."
April turned and smiled up at me, her bright eyes glittering in the soft light, and my stomach dropped as my breath caught in my throat. I lifted a hand and it was halfway to her face before I recovered himself. God, I wanted to touch her. She was so beautiful.
"This way," the hostess said, bringing me back to my senses. We followed her, weaving through the crowded seating area to a table in the very back. Little glass balls were suspended from the ceiling next to empty crab catching cages—crab pots, I thought they were called. The whole place smelled of seafood and something spicy. "This is all we have," the hostess said, apologetically. It probably wasn't a prime table, isolated as it was from the center of the dining room. But it was quieter, and a little bit more private, and I thought it was perfect.
"This is great," I said, and I stepped around to take April's coat and hold out her chair for her. She shot a look over her shoulder, like these actions were confusing or unnecessary, but the smile never left her face. I hung both our coats on a hook near the table, and returned, seating myself across from her.
"So," she said, after they'd glanced at the menus.
"So," I agreed, feeling nervous jitters skate through me. I hadn't been nervous around a woman since high school, but something about April, about the fact that really, this wasn't a date—no matter how much I suddenly wished it were—had me off balance.
"You've got me in your shack. Now what?" she asked.
A low laugh rolled through me. "Did you notice that half the things on the menu come in buckets?"
"I did notice that," she said.
