AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Me:Top of the stairs. Second door on the right.
Him: Your sister and McDonnell are up. Too risky.
I sank onto the bed,a deep disappointment mixing with the exhaustion in my bones and making me feel heavy and hopeless. What had I gotten myself into? How could I possibly be around Jace for four days without letting on the way I felt about him? My body was magnetically drawn to him, my heart aligned to him like he was my true north.
That night I slept fitfully, tossing and turning. I was in an unfamiliar bed, in a house I hadn't slept in for years—one that creaked and moaned with the slightest breeze. One in which I couldn't be myself, where I'd always felt the weight of my parents' deaths like a physical pain inside me.
This was the place we'd come to live after they had died. And I loved Gran. But she wasn't my parents. And I knew that Tess had gotten over their loss more easily—she was younger when it had happened, after all—but for me, the emptiness I'd felt when Mom and Dad had died had never really filled back up. From that point on, I had always felt like I was looking for something to replace their love, to soothe the gnawing emptiness I felt inside.
For a while, the excitement of Hollywood had been a good distraction, but once I'd settled into my success, the hole had opened up again. It was a gaping cavern just as wide as ever. I'd married Zac thinking a family of my own would be the answer, but Zac didn't want kids. And the hole gnawed itself even bigger inside me.
The thing was, in the last few weeks, as Jace and I had spent more time together, I hadn't noticed it as much. The pain had faded. It might have been the distraction of something new, but I thought it was more.
And now, being here, being away from Jace, I was empty again.
* * *
The sun wasbright in the morning, and I got up early, thinking I might go down to the river and stretch a little bit. Southern Maryland did offer some benefits over my home in Los Angeles, the biggest one being the fact I could actually go outside alone, go for a walk without worrying about being accosted or swarmed by photographers.
I pulled on some yoga pants and a long tank top and went downstairs, carrying my flip flops in my hand. The house was quiet, and as I passed the entrance to the east wing, I wondered where Jace might be.
I hated that we hadn’t gotten a chance to talk after the scene at the airport. I hated that I didn’t even know which room he was sleeping in. Had he tossed and turned all night too? Was he still okay with everything or might he be thinking this was all just too much?
I went into the kitchen and brewed a pot of tea, standing in front of the counter and staring out the window at the big sprawl of the yard, the slope of the bank down into the lazy river below. My eyes swept the dominating green of the landscape, finally coming to rest on the incongruity moving over the lawn. A black-shirted man in jeans, walking near the back porch.
My heart hammered in my chest.
Jace.
I made two cups of tea and carried them out to the back porch. "Hey," I called softly down the steps, drawing his attention.
His face had been stony and serious, but when he turned to look at me, a smile spread over those full lips that made my heart clench inside my chest.
"Hey yourself," he returned.
"I made you some tea," I said.
He glanced around, as if looking to see if anyone was nearby, and then came up the stairs and onto the porch. "Thanks." He accepted the mug I held out to him.
"No one else is up," I told him, setting my own mug on the table.
He stood a couple feet from me, around the curve of the big table. He seemed to think about my statement for a minute, then put his own mug down and stepped closer, scanning the yard and peering into the kitchen through the screen door as he did so. "Is that an invitation, Ms. Manchester?" he asked, his voice a growling whisper that made my stomach drop because it made me think of the other times he'd used that voice.
"I miss you," I whispered back, stepping closer to him.
We both glanced around, but there was no one nearby to see anything they shouldn't.
Jace reached a hand to me and I took it. He tugged gently and I was in his arms a second later, the vacancy in my heart suddenly full again, my mind calm and my body screaming for him. I pressed myself against him, loving the warm solidity of him, the smell of him, the way he held me exactly right. I took in a few deep breaths, assuring myself he was there, this thing between us was real. And then I tilted my head up to look into his serious face with the high cheekbones, the full lips, those dark dangerous eyes I loved.
He leaned down and pressed his lips gently to mine. For a moment, time froze and we held ourselves still, breathing together, being together. Then something snapped and he pulled me roughly to him, his mouth devouring mine, our tongues tangling and teasing until we finally broke apart breathless, our eyes still locked.
"This weekend is going to be difficult," he said.
That was an understatement.
I brought a hand to my lips, missing him there already as I stepped back to a respectable distance in case anyone might step out of the house. "It will," I agreed. "But it's not real Jace. You have to remember that. This," I said, motioning between us. "This is real."
He blew out a long breath between pursed lips, as if calming himself, centering himself.
