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“I bet.”
“But I understood why he hadn’t told me up-front.”
Pamela was nodding, and I was surprised how easily the story was pouring out of me.
“And then things just happened so fast. He was sweet to me, so honest…and so…”
“Hot?” Pamela suggested.
I felt my eyes widen. “Yeah,” I admitted. “There was that.” I smiled as my heart squeezed a bit, remembering the way it had felt to have those dark eyes trained on me, to see that perfect strong mouth opening in pleasure as I rode him, to have the attention of such a powerful and beautiful man focused entirely on me. I shook off the image. “But then something happened.” I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “I’m pregnant.”
Pamela inhaled sharply. “Oh shit.”
I shook my head, trying to let her know she didn’t need to feel bad for me. “It’s fine. I mean, no, it isn’t fine, but it’s something I wanted. I mean, eventually.”
“Okay. And Oliver?”
“That’s the thing.” I sat back in the booth and stared out the window for a minute. And then I explained what had happened, how I’d told him, and how he’d decided I lied to him. “But I would never do that,” I assured Pamela, who looked stunned. “I wasn’t using him for his money. I didn’t care at all about that. I got pregnant the old-fashioned way. By accident.”
“I know,” she said. “I can tell you’re not lying. Oh God, what a mess.”
I nodded my agreement, surprised at how nice it felt to have told someone everything. I hadn’t told Delia on Wednesday. I’d told her I still hadn’t spoken to Oliver. I knew she’d be upset for me, and I didn’t want to do that to her. So I’d pretended I was still just upset about the breakup.
“Well,” Pamela said. “Here’s what I think. Not that you’re asking.” She added the last part quickly, raising an eyebrow.
“Go ahead,” I said. “I’m asking.”
“Oliver lost everything, right? Or that’s what he thinks. His parents died in that horrible car crash, and then right after he finds out, he learns he was adopted and they never told him. He probably could have handled either one by itself, but I think his grief and his confusion got so mixed up that he just became angry. And maybe it was easier for him to be angry than to actually handle the emotions that came with all that turmoil. He decided they’d lied to him by not telling him, right?”
I nodded slowly. “I think you’re right…but did he tell you all this?”
She lifted a shoulder. “I’m around him enough to have figured a lot out, plus Rob and Tony were talking a lot right after it happened. Oliver didn’t keep any of it secret, he just kind of blurted it out and then disappeared. He didn’t tell me how he felt about it all, but that was easy enough to see.”
“Right.”
“So I think his big issue was that they lied, right?”
“I guess.” I didn’t believe his parents had lied exactly, but I could see how Oliver might decide to believe that. Especially if it let him avoid facing the grief that losing them would have caused.
Pamela nodded and sat back, crossing her arms as if she’d solved everything. “Well, that’s it. This isn’t even about you.”
“Um. Pregnant over here. Kind of about me.”
“Right, well that, sure. Yes, that’s totally about you. And about Oliver…and”—Pamela’s face lit up and she leaned forward clenching the sides of the table—“oh my gosh, Holland…you guys are going to have a baby! This is so wonderful!”
“You’re forgetting the part about how he hates me now.” It was easy to be a little bit flip about it with Pamela, and shooting the words out like that helped me avoid the total devastation that was my heart.
She raised her palms and gave her head a little shake. “That’ll get figured out. I’m sure he’ll come around.”
I didn’t feel sure at all.
“Can I plan a shower?” Pamela asked, practically bouncing in her seat now.
I moved to say no, but it occurred to me that without Oliver’s help, getting everything I needed to take care of an infant would be a financial challenge—even with my new salary. Once I had the commission on the MLB deal, maybe, but I couldn’t wait to get ready for something that was already in motion. This baby was like a ticking time bomb inside me. “I guess so,” I said, and then realized that wasn’t quite the polite answer. “I mean yes. That would be wonderful.”
Pamela grinned. “Don’t worry about the other stuff. Do you want me to say something to him?”
“Definitely not.” I watched my friend looking so cheerful and potentially devious, and began to worry that she would try to fix things for me. “I mean it.”
