AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No!” She took a step back and it made me wonder what I looked like—if I seemed so frightening that she would need to get away from me. The step backward also seemed defensive, like something someone would do if they felt guilty about lying. “Delia and I talked about it a long time ago. About how if I didn’t meet the right guy…” she trailed off, her eyes darkening. “You don’t seriously think I…”
“I don’t know what to think.”
“Oliver, I would never—” I heard anger begin to creep into Holland’s voice, pairing with the hurt there.
I was standing in Holland’s living room, staring at her with the brochure shaking in my hand. It was as if I was watching myself from above, watching myself lose everything I thought I’d found. I felt the familiar dark tug of anger, of the betrayal and confusion that comes with being lied to by someone you love, and it began to overwhelm me. It was way too fucking familiar. My vision narrowed and I felt a rush of emotion, a tidal wave breaking over me, washing me away where I stood and flushing every little bit of humanity I’d found recently back out until it was diluted by black swirling hatred and confusion. I had to get out before everything I’d tried so hard to get past in the preceding year knocked me down again and washed me out into a bleak, boundless sea. For a second I thought it didn’t even matter if Holland had lied or not. What mattered was my realization that she could. And that I’d made myself vulnerable to it.
And that somewhere, deep down in a part of me that was ugly and sour, I believed that she actually had.
“I have to go.”
Her voice followed me as I picked up my shoes and burst out her front door, searching my pockets for my car keys. I stumbled out to the elevator, my soul emptying out as I descended each floor until I found myself speeding along the freeway, an empty husk of a man.
“Fuck!” I screamed at the steering wheel, desperate to relieve the overwhelming emotion inside me somehow, to let it out before it swelled to the point that I exploded. “Fuck!” I screamed again, narrowly missing a car as I swerved through the lanes. My phone was buzzing in my pocket, but I ignored it. I stumbled into my house, poured a tall glass of scotch and sank into a chair, unable to form my disparate emotions into anything that would allow a rational thought to press through the subsuming murk.
—
Monday morning dawned bright and optimistic, an irritating contrast to my mood. I was at the office early, and my email inbox was overflowing.
I knew Holland and I needed to talk, I just didn’t look forward to the next conversation. At all. I was angry and confused, betrayed again by someone I loved. Which was why I buried myself in work for the entire day.
Rob made it easy to lose myself in business, since Salvatore Dex, one of the key shareholders on the board, had tipped Rob off to a plan by four other key shareholders to sell to SonicCom, which would put SonicCom in control of almost half the company. Salvatore was an old friend of Adam’s, one who was evidently still loyal after my eight-month absence.
“This is happening, Oliver. We can’t just pretend it isn’t.” Rob paced back and forth in my office, his hands raking through his hair and his tie hanging loose. “You can’t keep disappearing. I called you all weekend and you never answered.”
“I was…busy.”
“Busy fucking your employees,” he spat.
I was across the room with my hands fisting his shirt before I’d even thought about it. I realized what I was doing as I stared into his surprised eyes, my face inches from his, and I relaxed my grip. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, Rob. I didn’t plan it.”
“It’s not exactly kosher,” he said in a low voice. “I don’t have a problem with it, unless it’s keeping you from focusing on the things that need your attention.”
I dropped my hands to my sides. “Sorry, Rob. It’s complicated. But I’m here. The MLB deal appears to be coming through. And I want a new counsel on as soon as possible. Any progress?”
Rob shrugged. “Met a candidate last week who might be promising. A woman. Maybe you could interview her.”
“Set it up.” I heard my voice, a low growl. I added, “Please.”
Rob turned to walk out and then turned back around. “Do you want your girl in the meeting?”
“Ms. O’Dell is not my girl.” My voice was icy.
Rob spread his hands in front of him. “Sorry. Look, I don’t know how to handle this situation.”
That made two of us.
“She doesn’t need to be present. Let’s make it happen.” I walked to my desk and buzzed Pamela. “Pamela, can you come in here, please?”
Pamela opened the door, her face professional but wary. “Yes, sir?”
“Come in.” I waved her to the couch. “We need to schedule an interview with this lawyer.” I handed her the résumé Rob had given me. “And we’ll need some materials gathered for the MLB meeting next month.” I gave her all the details and she promised to make it happen.
When Rob and Pamela had both left my office I walked to the windows and stared out at the city below me. How had everything changed so much in such a short time? I couldn’t deny the anger I felt at Holland, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to write her off completely. Though she’d brought the latest emotional turmoil, she’d also pulled me from the darkness in which I’d been lost after the death of my parents. I braced my hands on the window and shook my head, feeling warring emotions threatening to explode inside me. She’d dangled the one thing I’d never had, and then she’d ripped it away the next instant. I didn’t know if I could ever forgive her for that. But I knew for sure I was still in love with her despite it.
I ignored several texts from Holland and left the office at exactly six, taking myself home and pushing through the toughest workout I’d done in months, hoping to reach an exhaustion deep enough to sleep, hoping maybe tomorrow things would be clearer.
