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I frowned, even though she couldn’t see it. “Don’t call it that.” There was something else on my mind. “Deel?”
“Uh-oh. I can hear your wheels clicking around over there. What’s wrong?”
I stared out my new office window at Los Angeles reaching toward the blue Pacific and felt like a jerk for being unable to fully appreciate it. “I don’t know if I can cross this one off yet.”
“You got the job. Task complete.”
“But I didn’t do it myself.” I hated that the success I’d just found was somewhat tainted by the way it had been handed to me. “It only happened because of who I know. I mean, I basically got promoted as a reward for fucking the CEO.”
“Girl, why do we do this to ourselves?” Delia sounded exhausted suddenly, her voice lowering. “Why is it that when a woman gets something good, something she deserves, she has to qualify the thing? Why do we have to pull our success apart to make sure it’s valid?”
“I don’t know, but it still feels like it came about the wrong way, like I took some kind of shortcut.”
“You worked your ass off to get that job, Holl. I watched you do it. Just because Mr. Hale-iver stepped in at zero hour and gave you a final boost doesn’t make it any less genuine.” She took a breath. “I hate putting things this way, but sometimes I think we’d be better off if we could think about things more like a dude would. You got the promotion, the new office, and the hot guy in your bed. You win. End of story.”
I let her words slide across my brain, examining their content closely. “You’re right,” I said. “It’s just hard to accept that I didn’t do it myself.”
“You did do it yourself. And you know what else? People like to help each other. I know we don’t always believe that because of where we came from, but the older I get, the more I see it’s true. This is the way the world works—especially in business. You network and make connections—you never know when one of those connections will turn into a huge win, or when you’ll have a chance to help someone you’ve met. Don’t you dare let yourself denigrate your success just because you asked the right guy for help.”
I made a noncommittal sound, wishing my brain would believe as sincerely as Delia seemed to.
“Congratulations, Holland. I’m proud of you! This week we’ll celebrate your success.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling a little better about things. “See you at dinner.”
