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Mom planted her hands on her hip, brown hair falling from her ponytail. “Yes, I have the money.”
“Just asking. You’ve been spending a lot of time at the bar, and I know drinks aren’t cheap.”
“Did you come over here to criticize me? If so, just leave. I’m having a good day, and I don’t need you to ruin it.”
“Like all my good days you’ve ruined over the last few years.” The words came out before Harper’s brain connected to her mouth to stop them. She didn’t mean to be so combative, but for whatever reason, she automatically switched into that role as soon as she was anywhere near Mom. It was like a switch flipped, and the nice girl she knew she was suddenly vanished and left in her place was an angry, defensive grump.
Mom’s jaw tightened, and her eyes blazed with fury, but then her features softened. Her eyes drooped and her lip quivered. “What do you want from me, huh? Do you want me to apologize for drinking? Well, I’m sorry.” She jabbed a finger into her chest. “Sorry that I can’t shove my emotions to the back of my mind and carry a chip on my damn shoulder. Sorry I don’t give two shits about what people think of me. Most of all, I’m sorry I can’t be perfect like you.”
“I never said I was perfect.”
“You sure as hell act like you are. I wish for one day you could be inside my head, hear the horrible thoughts I have about myself. The drinking is the only thing that quiets them.”
It was the most honest Mom had ever been with her about her addiction, and Harper wanted to help her. She didn’t want her to suffer alone, but after years of battling, she didn’t know where to begin. “Have you thought about going to therapy? Maybe talking to someone would help.”
“I’m talking to you right now, and trust me, it’s not.”
“I’m not qualified.”
“Not qualified for what? To have a normal conversation without yelling?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“There’s nothing a shrink can say that’ll help me. All they care about is lining their pockets and touting their fancy degree.”
“How do you know if you don’t try? Go once and see what you think. If you still feel the same way, then don’t go back, but at least try.”
“What’s the point?”
“You’re infuriating. Here I thought you were sending out a cry for help, yet you refuse any help I’m trying to give you.”
“Telling me to go lay on a couch and spill my guts to some stranger is not help. Besides, it wasn’t a cry for help. I was just talking.”
Harper ran her hands through her hair, tension pulling tight in her veins. “I need to go. Isla will be here in a half hour to get Tom for the parade. Make sure he doesn’t forget his bathing suit.”
“Oh right, for the fancy Memorial Day party at your house that you never invite me to.”
“Do you blame me?”
Mom straightened and lifted her chin. “Doesn’t matter. Milo invited me.”
Harper froze in place. “You’re not actually thinking of coming, are you?”
“Afraid I’ll embarrass you in front of your precious friends?”
“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” This was the same woman who showed up to her graduation stumbling over herself, who showed up to her twenty-first birthday, got on the bar to dance, and fell off, causing Harper to spend the rest of her birthday in the emergency room while Mom got X-rays. If she was capable of behaving herself, Harper would love to invite her to parties and events, but she wasn’t, and Harper didn’t want to spend her time worrying.
It wasn’t fair.
Before Mom could continue the argument, Harper walked away and got in her Jeep. She texted Isla to make sure Tom remembered to bring a bathing suit, knowing damn well she couldn’t rely on Mom to remember.
She got a text from Milo, putting her on ice duty. She stopped at the store and picked up several bags and now was emptying them in the multiple coolers Milo had set up throughout their property. He’d been on the go from the minute she returned and barely had a second for her to vent.
If it wasn’t for the party preparations, she’d swear he was avoiding her.
She’d thought things might be weird after they had sex together, but she didn’t feel that way at all. All she felt was a growing need to do it again. She had no idea how he felt, since every time she tried to talk to him, something would get in the middle of their conversation.
She filled the cooler by the firepit and took the plastic bag to the recycle bin. Each can was color-coded and meant for specific products, thanks to Jasper and his quest to save the planet.
