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“Couldn’t sleep.”
“You had kind of a shock earlier. I think we all did.” Olivia sat down on the loveseat, angling toward the couch where Dad was propped up against a pillow.
Dad didn’t look at her, his eyes stayed focused on the blank TV screen. “I had no idea he had a son.”
“It seems not many people did. Shane’s dad died when Shane’s mom was only a couple months pregnant. They hadn’t even told anyone yet.”
“I wish I would’ve known.”
“I wish you would have told me about him. Why didn’t you?” There weren’t any pictures or any stories Olivia could recall. It was his best friend. How did he go through the last twenty-five years without a mention of a man who was such a big part of his life at one point?
Dad let out a breath, running a hand over his bushy mustache. “It hurt to think about what could have been. Raising our kids together, going on family vacations, and calling each other up with new milestones. First steps, first words, first day of school… I’ll never know what that would’ve been like, and it pains me to think about it, so I closed it off. I never forgot about Shane. A part of him has always been with me, but I could only think of him as he was in the past, pretending he’s permanently there instead of…”
A wall of tears filled Dad’s eyes, and he blinked away. His lips parted like he still had more to say but was too scared to try.
He cleared his throat. “I miss him. It’s easy to forget about him every day, but in the quiet moments, the moments when there are no distractions from my mind, surrounded by silence, he’s there. Always there.” His lips pressed together, and he nodded. A single tear fell down his cheek, and he discreetly swiped it away. “Always.”
Olivia couldn’t believe that in her twenty-five years she never knew Dad’s best friend had died. He never talked about him. Never mentioned him in passing, or at least not that she could ever recall. When Shane’s father died, her father had locked him away. She understood he did it for his own good, but she couldn’t help but wonder if purposely suppressing the memory of his best friend didn’t take a toll on him.
It was strange to think her parents had a life before her, but they did. And it was a life she knew little to nothing about. She had no idea if being in the dark about her parents’ younger years was her fault or her parents’, but either way, she was disappointed in herself for never asking them about their lives growing up.
“I’m sorry. Sorry for your loss and the pain it’s caused, and I’m sorry for not knowing.”
“You shouldn’t be sorry about that. How were you to know?”
“I feel like I should have. I’ve just always seen you as my dad, and I never stopped to think that you were once a teenager with friends and a life.”
“I still have a life,” he said.
“You know what I mean.”
“I do, but even if you asked, I don’t know how much I would have told you. Some things are just better left in the past.”
“Then you’re really going to hate what I’m about to ask you.”
“What’s that?”
“Shane knows nothing about his dad other than what his mom told him. But she didn’t know the man that you did. Shane just wants to talk with someone who knew his dad and can tell him about him. He tried talking to his grandfather but…”
“Didn’t go well,” Dad said matter-of-factly.
“How’d you know?”
“Mr. McConnell isn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy type. Besides, he’s the reason Shane ditched town.”
Olivia rested her elbows on her knees and her head on her knuckles, leaning close in intrigue. “Why?”
“They had a fight. He was vague on the details, but it wasn’t the first. This one was the catalyst that had him packing his bags and heading to California. He wanted to surf, but then he met someone, and he never wanted to come back to the east coast. He was happier than he’d been in a long time.” Dad stopped talking and stared at the blank TV screen. “I can’t believe he was going to be a dad. I can’t believe he had a son I didn’t know about. If I did, I would have made an effort to be a part of his life.”
“It’s never too late,” Olivia said. “Shane wants to know about that part of his dad’s life. You’re one of the few people who can give him that.”
“Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know.”
Olivia picked at a string on the blanket draped over the arm of the loveseat before looking up at Dad. “If I were Shane, good or bad, I’d want to know.”
Dad nodded. “I’d love to meet Shane properly. I promise not to run off on him again.”
Relief spread through the tension in Olivia’s shoulders. “He’ll love that. I’ll let him know. Do you want me to turn out the lights?”
