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Like a tidal wave, the caring andnicenessin the room crashes over me, wiping me out. The tears fall from my eyes, and I can’t stop them. Instead, I close my eyes and try to block everyone out. Maybe I can force myself back to sleep.
Not that sleep has been a good thing. Strange nightmares of Marieth and the Woods have somehow combined with my old life. Which is odd, because I hadn’t thought about Darius in the whole time I had been captured. Or since I was rescued. And that is just more kindling for the raging dumpster fire that is my mind right now.
Despite what my brother assumes, I amnota virgin. Darius was my, well, not my boyfriend. But he was more than just the guy that I blew after tutoring sessions.
Darius was, well, it doesn’t matter what it was.
That whatever had been between us was over had been made abundantly clear during an extremely embarrassing- and more than a little heartbreaking- fight before I’d returned to my parents’ estate and subsequent kidnapping.
Now he was joining the party in my nightmares, because my subconscious can’t help but rub salt in the wounds.
Gods, they are still here.
I can hear them murmuring around me. Why won’t they justgo? They are so loud, and I just want to rest. Through the thick cushioning of the quilt, I can feel Seff tracing the pattern of the cover over my shoulder. It’s helping to lull me further into sleep.
Slipping deeper into my dozing state, I hear Tor and Caelan whisper arguing about returning to their farm, but I miss the end as I fade into the blackness and the comfort of its misery.
Roan
I can’t help butlook up at the window overlooking the gardens as I climb into my truck, just like I’ve done every time it catches my peripheral vision. It’s the corner room, and as usual at this time of day, the blinds are completely drawn.
It’s Theo’s room.
He’s been lying in that room, marinating in his own depression for the past few days. It’s been easy to put it down to exhaustion. That he needs to rest. But after yesterday's “love in” as Edith and Seff had dubbed it, it was apparent that it’s more than just needing to sleep.
Unfortunately, it didn’t go as well as the others had hoped. It had only seemed to overwhelm him, and now he’s even more shut off than he was before. I didn’t even know that was possible.
I’d given Tor and Calean a lot of shit for not wanting to leave yesterday; they’d needed to get back to the farm, and I’d promised we’d watch him. Take care of him. But now that it’smyturn to get in the car and leave, I can’t.
I need to go to Twin Heads, to go pick up our fresh produce and other supplies. And maybe I need to get away from here, from Theo andeveryone. Get out of my head for a bit.
Having him here, so fucking close, is doing something to me. Maybe it’s just stress from everything that’s happened. Mauvy the little faun who is my life-long best friend and co-boss of the Black Stump Tavern, keeps givingthat look,asking if I want to talk.
But I don’t. I know the others are feeling some heavy shit after what happened in the Woods, but I’m not. Okay, there’s been a couple of sleepless nights where I’ve woken up in a bit of a panic, but that seems normal all things considered.
It’s just Theo and the feral drive to go to him. Protect him and watch over him.
But I can’t. It makes him uncomfortable; I saw it, from the moment he flinched when Edith woke him from his magical sleep, to the unease in his stance whenever I got too close. I’d been shocked when I’d offered for him to stay here at the Black Stump with me. I hadn’t even had the thought before it came out of my mouth.
I’d been even more shocked when he'd agreed.
Not that it’s doing him any good.
Shouts from the tavern draw me from my reverie, rapping some sense into my skull. Maybe that hit to the horns had done some damage to my brain. Without another look, just in case I get distracted yet again, I climb into the cab and slam the door. The hunk of metal acts like a barrier between me and the tavern. I already feel a little less clouded. Clearer.
With the sun shining, my radio cranking and the drive smooth as a baby's butt, I make my way to Twin Heads.
Pushing all thoughts of Theo, and the Whisper Woods, murderous ancient fae, and primitive urges to claim like a barbarian firmly out of my mind.
***
I don’t even know how I came into the second-hand bookshop. But on my way out of town, after finishing all my errands, myknowingtold me to pull over.
It led me here. To the Young Adult section.
I scan the shelves, wondering why I need to be here. But then I see it.
Sitting there, in used but still very readable condition, is a complete set ofRadomir, Creator of Darkness. I pick up the first book, turning it over in my hands. I read the lot of them as a teen. Not that they were really that appropriate, especially as they go along in the series. But I loved them. They were dark and gruesome, but also funny. Very weird too.
