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Guilt once again gnaws at my insides that I’ve hurt him. I should have contacted him after I was rescued. Before that even. I never should have ignored him after he reached out after our fight. That was wrong.
I read over his words again and again, searching every part of me for how I feel.
Once, not too long ago, this message would have made me ecstatic. I mean, he’d made the same promises before, but I’d always had faith in us. Well, at least in him.
Now though, the promise leaves me cold and uncomfortable. More than a little scared. I don’t think he’d actually do anything to me, and I’m so well protected here at the tavern. There’s always a million beings floating about, not to mention Mauvy and Seldon andRoan.
I’m scaredIwon’t be strong enough if I have to face him, that he’ll resurrect that dead part of me that contorted himself into whatever he demanded.
I don’t want Darius; he is very firmly in my past. My eyes land on the hulking, horned man in my bed. Roan snores loudly and throws himself over in the bed, one arm reaching out, searching for something. Me. Like he always is. Becauseheis my future.
Once I find the guts to actually have the conversation, that is, and make him listen and finally convince him he doesn’t need to save me from whatever scary future he thinks he’s trapping me into.
But maybe Idoowe Darius some type of closure? A goodbye? The idea eases some of the guilt chewing at my insides, and I decide to bring it up with Dr Brordieu.
After myslightoverreaction with Tor last weekend when we were all at the farm for a fire, I have a decent range of topics to bring up today when I have my appointment.
The other thing is whatever is going on between me and Roan and this whole friends with orgasms business. We’re both done fooling ourselves, I think, if his repeated huffs and random aborted attempts at conversations mean anything. Unless he has something else he is avoiding getting off his chest.
I want to shove him to take the next step, but I don’t know how to do it. I could ask one of our friends, but I don’t want to put them in the middle. And I want healthy advice, not whatever buffoonery they will peddle.
I quickly check the other messages and, finding nothing important, I power the phone back off and slip it back into the drawer, tucking it under the blankets inside like that will protect me from everything the phone represents.
We have a big day today, and I am not in the mood to get started too early. It’s going to be a late one with our trip to Slash tonight, so I slide back under the blankets and snuggle up to Roan. The moment I touch him he is wrapped around me like a barnacle, nuzzling his head into my neck, pressing soft sleepy kisses along my jawline.
I sink into the feeling and let him chase away the last of the memories from my nightmares. The cosy warmth eventually settles my racing heart, and my eyelids get heavy, drooping until before I know it, I’m back asleep.
***
Hot, wet open-mouthed kisses trail down my chest, detouring only to bite gently on my nipples before continuing their journey down my stomach. My cock was obviously awakewellbefore I was because by the time his mouth has reached my belly, where it deviates again to nibble blindingly hot kisses over my pelvic bones, it smacks him in his cheek. Roan’s beard tickles the sensitive head of my cock, and it jerks, whacking him again.
A soft chuckle tickles my skin, causing me to shiver and moan under his touch. My brain finally comes online, and I plunge my fingers into Roan's long, loose waves, fingers flexing hard against his scalp, making him hiss with pleasure as he trails histongue up the length of my dick. Pure, unfiltered pleasure pulses through me.
“Gods,yes,” My voice is hoarse with sleep and lust, and when his big hand wraps around the base of my dick, I crack my closed eyes to watch him bring the leaking, reddened tip into his mouth, enveloping me in that intense heat.
My breaths come in short pants, my toes digging at the mattress to both gain purchase and also resist slamming my dick into his mouth. Roan seems to sense my need, winking at me sinfully with a mouthful of cock -mycock - then holds my eye contact while he slowly swallows me down to the root. When his nose is nestled in my pubes, he swallows around me, and I almost come undone.
My head throws backwards on a soundless cry, the tendons in my neck aching from tension. The hand that had been holding my cock steady, now slick with saliva, rolls my balls for a moment, pulling them away from my body and me back from the brink. Roan slides his mouth back up my cock, cheeks hollow, eyes never leaving me, then dips back down, teasingly slow, his tongue torturing my length. Obscene nonsense falls from my lips as I gasp and moan, white-hot pleasure licking my skin.
“Yes,more.” I am panting, whining, desperate, even more so when Roan chuckles around me and the sound vibrates down my dick. His hand releases my balls, and I almost complain but a solitary finger trails down over my taint, teasing down to flutter around the rim of my hole.
Impatience burns in me, but he acts like he has all the time in the world. I drive my hips down on his thick digit, but he deftly avoids my attempts to fill myself.
Instead, he pulls off my cock, kissing along my pelvis. His beard tickles me, drawing a pained laugh from me. I’m in no mood for the teasing. I want his mouth back on me. I want him to spear me on those thick fingers of his. I want him to workme open when I fuck myself into his mouth. Then I want him to paint my body with his come.
“Patience,” he whispers against my hip, making me shiver again. Then he shimmies down further, wedging his big wide shoulders between my thighs, forcing them up to get out of his way. My breath seizes in my lungs when those big fingers dig into the flesh of my ass cheeks, spreading me for his feasting gaze.
He isn’t going to-Oh, and he is.
If the whole tavern didn’t know we were sleeping together, they definitely will now from how loud I shout his name when his tongue brushes my hole. I am dimly aware that I have been asleep and am probably not the freshest, but it’s hard to be self-conscious about such mundane things when Roan is between my legs creating such wicked magic.
His tongue breaches my entrance, making my cock jump for joy on my stomach, a trail of pre-cum connecting the tip to the puddle beneath.
Roan diligently plunders my ass, spearing me again and again and then alternating his lascivious attentions to licking and nibbling around the rim.
Apparently not as mentally broken with lust as I am, he manages to put both hands to use to multitask, returning one hand to stroke my cock in firm, mind bending tugs. The other returns to toying with my ass, working in tandem with his tongue until he has two fingers deep inside me. The stretch of his wide fingers burns, adding to the assailing of my body. His fingers find my prostate, pounding against it with their deep, unrelenting thrusting.
It’s too much, my skin is on fire, my hands tug hard at Roan’s hair both to pull him away and also push him tighter against me. He growls, low and deep, the sensation vibrating directly against my balls and it is over for me.
