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As I pull them out, I hear a dull thunk on the floor but can’t see anything that has dropped. Not wanting to waste any more time, and wanting to squeeze in another shower before bed, I run down the hall, almost colliding straight into Roan. His big hands steady my shoulders as he pushes me back into a shadowy corner.
His lips are on me before I can speak, not that I’m complaining. With an impatient groan, I deepen the kiss, dropping my hold on the blankets to thread my fingers into his hair to tug him closer. His tongue sweeps into my mouth and my knees go weak, only the pressure of his body against mine and his hands now cupping my ass keeping me upright. Unfortunately, we eventually need to break apart for silly things like breathing, and so with great regret I pull myself back, nuzzling my head into the hollow of his neck.
“I met one of your friends, the mages.”
Roan hums in response, as his hands make delicious circles on my ass. I’m not even sure he’s paying attention. “He was weird.” This time Roan chuckles.
“They can be like that. They didn’t upset you did they?”
His breath tickles my ear as he rubs his cheek over my head, almost like a cat marking their scent. It quickly changes to softkisses behind my ear, and I shift my head, rising on my tip-toes so he doesn’t have to bend so awkwardly.
“Nah, it was fine. He was just intense.” I groan impatiently as his lips latch onto the ultra sensitive skin at the base of my throat, biting down. “Come by after you finish.” Roan’s head pulls back, his eyes searching mine for a moment.
It only just occurs to me that we hadn’t done that yet. Sure, we’d fooled around at the house and in the storage closetandsmall bedroom kept downstairs for staff who work too late to drive home, but we hadn’t yet made it into each other's private spaces.
Roan’s smile is small, and I give in to my urge to pull down on his neck to give myself enough leverage to rise up to give him a quick kiss on the corner there. His head bobs in agreement. “It’ll be late?”
I raise a shoulder, shrugging casually, stroking my fingers down his thick biceps and back up again. I truly don’t care how late it is. Finding time to be with Roan, alone and unhurried, is starting to get impossible.
And I’m not going to lie, the idea of waking up with him in my bed thrills me in a way that can only be dangerous.
“Don’t care. You have a key. Let yourself in when you’re finished.” Roan’s roaming hands have found their way back to my hips, and he gives me a possessive squeeze, making my stomach drop.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” And then his lips are on me again, hard and with the promise for more. Down the hall, a doorway slams, and suddenly there is a professional distance between us, the blankets now firmly in his arms. The only hint of our secret moment are his swollen, kiss-stung lips and blown out pupils and my panting breath. Another guest passes us, waving as they go, and then Roan is gone, following them down the hall.
There is a little extra pep in my step as I make my way back to my room, gathering my things for my shower, determined to get myselfextraclean for when Roan comes by later.
Making my way to the bathroom, skirting around the tight space between the bed and the chest of drawers, my foot kicks something hard on the floor. I hiss and curse, hopping on one foot to nurse my injured pinky toe. After rubbing away most of the sting, I crouch on the floor to see what I managed to stub my toe on.
There, under the bed where I kicked it, is my phone. I sit back on my heels, considering leaving it there. It must’ve dropped out when I grabbed the blankets from the drawer. I stare at the shadows under the bed for a moment, like a spider or monster might come jumping out any minute, my heart beat increasing with my anxiety.
“This is ridiculous,” I mutter to myself. With determined resolve, I shove my hand under the bed and blindly pull out the device.
The screen is black, and I can see my warped image in the reflection. The protective cover is cool under my fingers as I flip it around in my hand. It seems silly to be so scared of such a tiny inanimate object, but it’s what it represents that bothers me so much.
My lip finds its way between my teeth, while my hesitant finger presses the power button. This is probably a terrible idea, but I seem to be doing it anyway.
The screen lights up and flickers through its loading screens. I unlock it with my old pin and wait for the notifications to load. My lip has begun to bleed, so I press my thumb there to take away the sting while I continue to stare, entranced by the phone. As it finds its limited connection, it explodes in vibrations from my most recent notifications.
Every single one is Darius.
And they arerecent.
Once the phone stops its conniption, I use an unsteady finger to scroll through the missed calls. There are literally hundreds. I swallow hard, guilt settling low in my belly about having ghosted him. Even thoughhewas the one that broke it off with me, the same distressed feeling at displeasing him creeps into my being, urging me to franticallyfix itbefore I upset him further.
I can feel every beat of my heart, every throb of blood in my veins, even the whisper of my eyelashes when I blink as I click on the message thread.
It loads to my last read message, the ones that I had sent him begging him to return. To talk to me. Pleading for him to come back to me, that I didn’t care if he was engaged.
Bile rises in my throat as I read my own pathetic desperation. There is a delay between my last messages and his. He’d left me on “read” until I’d left. The first few messages are the standard fair for him after one of our break ups, when he would come scrounging around looking to get laid.
Theo, I’m sorry you feel like I abandoned you. We could meet for coffee? At your apartment? I miss your touch.
Theo, baby, don’t ignore me like this. I’ve said that I’m sorry. I will meet you at yours and we can figure something out.
Don’t be like this, you know how things are. Don’t you want to figure things out?
I thought you loved me, Theo. You said you loved me and now you just abandon me like this? When I am risking my future to see you?
