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The worst is when he gets all protective, watching over me whenever he thinks I can’t tell, or just out in the open, like he can’t help it.
Ilikeit.
Too much.
I risked my life in some stupid attempt to assert my independence, and one glance at that stupid man with his stupid handsome face and his stupid handsome horns and I just want to throw myself into his arms and beg him to take care of me forever. To keep me safe. Make me his.
Not happening.
Especially judging by how things went when I’d kissed him. Because I had done exactly that on our trek back to Black Stump.
He’d been horrified.
It had been a few days after my rescue. He’d avoided me wherever he could, but I’d still felt his eyes on me whenever he thought I wasn’t looking. Our group had run into a herd ofcentaurs that Edith and Caelan had met earlier in their rescue trip.
The invitation had soon turned into a party, and it had been almost funny watching the centaur leader hit on Caelan repeatedly until my brother was forced to step in. But for me the night had been stressful.
After being on my own for weeks in Marieth’s basement, I’d been overwhelmed enough by our little group. The herd drinking and feasting around us had been even worse. At first Seff had provided a welcome barricade, but then he’d left to go and hit on one of the centaurs himself.
That was when Roan had decided to stop glowering at me from across the fire and come and sit with me instead. And by “with me”, I mean he shoved me behind him and glowered at everyone who dared to walk past him. He hadn’t said anything, just mumbled something about keeping me safe after everything that I’d been through.
I’d tried to say something to him, but I couldn’t make the words come out. I felt so woefully inadequate next to him. He was so calm, so sure of himself. There was a steadiness to him that I’d never had.
“Are you hungry? I haven’t seen you eat.” His voice had been gruff as he’d questioned me. That he’d noticed, or even cared had sent a flurry of butterflies off in my stomach, even as his concern rankled.
The idea that he thought I couldn’t take care of myself, that I was somehow weak and needed to be protected chafed at my nerves. I’d wriggled on my spot on the blanket, both trying to get close enough to smell his warm and spicy scent and also escape his claustrophobic presence and the feelings he brewed up in me. It made my skin itch with a need for something I couldn’t name.
“I’m fine. I’m not hungry anyway.”
He’d grunted at me, in that way that he does. In our short time together I’d already learnt that it meant that he wanted to lecture me about something but was trying to keep it to himself. He’d turned over his shoulder to shoot me a fierce glare, his dark hair had fallen from its tie, loosely framing his face.
I’d been struck by the heat in his gaze. No one had ever looked at me likethatbefore, not even Darius.
That itch beneath my skin finally had a name, a hot bolt of lust had shot through my body, making my cock hard and my fingers ache to trace the shadowy lines of his back under his shirt. But I hadn’t, because in an instant the look had been gone, and I convinced myself it wasn’t real.
The air between us had grown more and more tense as the night went on. He’d steadily ignored me, and I tried to think ofanythingto say that wouldn’t make me sound like an idiot.
In the end I’d needed a break. I needed air. Which was a ridiculous thought because we were literally outside at the time. I stood, brushing myself off when Roan captured my hand in his. It had been the first time we’d touched properly since he’d rescued me, and the feel of his skin against mine had shocked me like a branding iron.
I’d swallowed hard, terrified he’d see the outline of my embarrassingly rapidly growing erection in my borrowed jeans. He hadn’t noticed though, instead his dark grey eyes had been filled with worry.
“You okay?” He was stroking my wrist with his thumb, wiping every thought from my brain with every swipe. Instead, I’d flapped my hand around and garbled something about it being too loud before ripping my wrist from his hold and turning to walk out into the dark Woods.
He hissed for me to wait and jumped up to follow me as I’d stalked off, snatching up my hand again. I hadn’t looked back. I couldn’t. I’d just stalked off into the night with Roan draggingbehind me. Thankfully, whilst my gifts and power had been taken from me, I still had my enhanced fae eyesight so I could see mostly where I was going.
I had pulled him through the trees until they got so dense we couldn’t pass any further. With nowhere to go I’d collapsed against a thick trunk of an oak, Roan still holding my hand tight.
“You okay?” He’d sounded sincere, and he’d been so close, his scent wrapping around me, sending goosebumps up my skin. I’d laughed, shaking my hand free so I could rub my face and pull at my hair.
“No Roan, no I am not okay. I was kidnapped by an ancient fae, and almost died, all because of my own stupidity. I have losteverythingand almost risked my brother's life. And all of yours. And now we’re in the middle of the enchanted woods, and I amtiredandscaredand it just feels-” Tears pooled in my eyes as I ranted hysterically, but I didn’t get to finish.
Instead, Roan had pulled me to him, and I was encased in his strong arms. His body wrapped around me, pressing my face into his hard chest. He was so much bigger than me. Not that he’s a giant like the rest of them, I am just short. He’s wide, muscly, and thick, though. Like a wall. And so warm too.
I’d wrapped my arms around him, my fingers digging into the flesh above his waistband as I’d tried to get a hold of myself. Roan had nuzzled against me, his beard scraping against my curls.
“It’s going to be okay Theo. You are going to be okay.” His deep voice had rumbled through his chest, and I’d felt him staring down at me. I’d pulled back, as much as the steel bands of his arms and the tree at my back would allow, and stared into the depths of his eyes.
It was hard to see in the dark of the night but I saw, well IthoughtI saw, something there. Heat and wanting. Need. I’d swallowed hard against the nerves that had twisted up my spine,my anxiety having turned into something new and different, hotter, more intense.
