AllFreeNovel
Share Us
In a surprising display of helpfulness, Edith actually leads us to a place to set up camp for the night. It’s a space between the towering tree roots rising from the ground. It’s only small; there is barely space for our two-man tent and a campfire, but we make it work. And by we, I mean Caelan and I, because as we quickly set to work getting everything set up, she leaves.
I am in the tent setting up our beds when I hear her call out. There is a “Toodle-oo my darlings. I’ll be back in time for dinner,” and she is gone before I even manage to scramble out of the tent. Caelan and I stand together and watchher frizzy white hair, a beacon in the fading light, until she eventually disappears from sight. And when she is definitely gone, Caelan snags me in for a rough kiss.
“Wanna help me get cleaned up?” My stomach does that flip-flop thing again at the wicked glint in his eye. For most of our trek, it has been too cold to stay naked for long enough for any fun while we clean up, but the weather has turned and it is unnaturally warm and humid in this dense part of the Woods. I have been extremely keen to take advantage of that.
We strip quickly, very aware that Edith could wander back at any minute, but still too excited to care. When the camp shower is sufficiently filled with hot water, we jump under, washing each other thoroughly.Very thoroughly. Naturally the touching and the rubbing and the kissing leads to soapy hand jobs, and as we both come, spilling onto the floor between us, I swear I hear the witch’s cackling laugh through the trees. I really wouldn’t have put it past her to hide out to watch.
When she does wander back, the fire is roaring; the temperatures are dropping, and most conveniently, dinner is prepared. We are just dishing up the plates of rehydrated stew—I swear to the Gods, when we return I never want to look at oatmeal or another dehydrated stew or packaged soup in my life—when Edith comes waltzing back into camp brandishing two bottles of wine like a champion fighter.
“Look what I found, boys!” She throws one bottle to Caelan as she nears and pops the top off the second with her teeth, taking a long swig of the wine. Crimson stains her lips as some dribbles out the corner of her mouth. “IknewI’d stashed a couple of bottles around here a few years ago when I wandered into the area. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and here we are. Thanks.” She snatches up a bowl of stew, not hers, but that’s fine, and plonks herself down on the ground, busying herself with her dinner and what appears to beherbottle of wine.
I chuckle and wink at Caelan, who looks a little bemused while he dishes up another bowl of stew up for himself and I uncork our bottle.
“So, Tor, my scrumptious little devil.” She has a mouthful of food while she speaks, pausing for another gulp of wine to wash it down. “I don’t supposeCaelan has told you about the time he got outrageously drunk at the Black Stump and performed a striptease on the bar?”
Caelan, who is unfortunately taking his own drink as she talks, chokes on his mouthful of wine. He splutters for a moment, while Edith digs around in her bowl, spearing pieces of meat and watching Caelan with delight.
“Don’t you dare.” His words are hoarse as he tries to get them outandregain his breath.
I rub his back and pout in faux sympathy. “There, there now, baby. It’s not likeI, of allpeople, am ever going to judge you. I promise.” My voice is soft and teasing, before I turn to Edith, eyes narrowing. “Spill. Immediately.” Caelan’s groan is adorable, and I pet his leg, shushing him.
“T’was midsummer, and the evening was warm. We had all gathered at Black Stump for refreshments and merriments,” Edith starts dramatically, her glee at getting to share an embarrassing story about Caelan positively radiating from her every pore. “I had wandered in, as I am wont to do, as Seff and Caelan were doing shots with a band of Mages who had just travelled in from the Overlands.”
Caelan whines a fake sob and rubs the heels of his palms into his eyes.
“The boys were young then, before they were their own thing. Caelan must have only been eighteen, a wee little baby. He and Seff had no idea what he was up against with this crowd. They were plying the boys with drink after drink after drink. They were devilishly handsome too, the Mages, full of dark good looks and powers, and these two little jackasses werepreeningunder the attention. Absolutely gobbling it up.” Edith’s blood-red lipstick is even more electric in the glow of the fire as she cackles, wrapping her many layers tighter around herself.
Caelan gulps down a few more mouthfuls of the wine before I snatch it off him and have a drink myself before he polishes it off. It is actually really nice, whatever it is, but I just want the story, so I wave my hands in a hurry up motion at Edith.
“They started getting competitive. I don’t know what started it. Showing off their muscles.” She pauses to pull a few exaggerated muscle-man poses, her facecontorted in ridicule. I laugh so hard I snort, and I’m not even embarrassed. “And telling ridiculous stories. Seff deepthroated a fucking banana at one point. Mauvy and I were laying bets on when someone was going to get injured. Honestly, it was the most acutely mortifying secondhand embarrassment I had felt in my life.”
“Gods, Edith, why am I even friends with you?” Caelan groans from behind his hands.
Edith snorts and pokes her fork in his knee. I take another large swig of the wine and pass it back to him. He needs it.
“Me? You’re questioningme? What about bloody Roan? They were his friends, and he was goading you along with them! Me? Pfft.”
“Roan’s a Mage? Wait, relevant. Get to the stripping!” I slap my hands on my thighs with my words to emphasise my point. I am literally on the edge of my seat waiting for the good bit here. I really don’t care about Roan’s being status.
Edith shoves a rather large mouthful of her dinner in her mouth but chews it quickly, see-sawing her head from side to side. “He’s actually fae with berserker blood. But anyway. Eventually, the band started up and Seff started dancing. Absolutely filthily. And you’ve seen him?” We had filled her in on our evening with the Everfyr pack on our trek here. “The man isgorgeous.Not as gorgeous as you, mind.” I raise a hand to my heart and pose dramatically, fluttering my eyelashes. “Exactly. Anyway, Caelan, pissed as a newt, refused to be outdone, kicked off his shoes and jumped up on the bar.”
“Please, Edith, I am begging you, please stop talking.” Caelan’s face is on fire, his blush stretching down into his plaid shirt.
I would feel pity for him, but I don’t. My heartdoesdo a little pitter patter, seeing his cheeks all rosy though, if that counts. I hug my arm around him and pull him close. “Shush, babe, we’re getting to the good bit.”
Caelan burrows his face into my neck, like if he can’t see us, he wouldn’t have to relive his drunken idiocy, and his beard tickles my neck. I rub my hand up and down his back comfortingly, but gesture for Edith to continue again.
“Right, so he gets up there and is bumping and grinding. And to be fair, considering I am pretty sure he was blind drunk at this point, he was prettygood. Reasonably on time to the beat, managed to not trip over his own feet. Don’t let the stuffy plaid fool you. He has moves.”
I can’t stop laughing at the image she paints. I can see him up there, wee young Caelan on the bar of the Tavern. I wish I could’ve seen it. “Yeah, I’m aware.”
Edith winks at me. “I bet. He managed to get his tee shirt off, no plaid that night. Like I said, it was hot. And by the time he was unbuttoning his shorts, the whole bar was in on it. Chanting his name, clapping. Money started flying. The idiots in the bar turned into a pack of hyenas and he was their dinner. He was up there twirling, dipping low. Theworks.He got his shorts off and was shaking his ass in just his tighty whities. Honestly, he was living for it!"
"The savages were calling for more, and he was bent over, shaking his ass at the crowd, about to drop his undies and reveal the jewels, when Roanfinallystepped in. Snatched little baby Caelan off the bar and threw him over his shoulder and carried him out like a barbarian. The crowd wentwild,thinking he was sneaking Caelan off to ravish him. Mauvy had to threaten more than a few to keep back. And trust me, Mauvy is one little faun you don’t want to get on the bad side of.” Edith drains the last of her bottle of wine and, realising it is empty, throws it away in disgust.
Caelan, knowing that the story is over, finally turns, removing his face from the crook of my neck, but still rests his head on my shoulder. I hug both arms around him and rock him back and forth.
“Where did Roan take you?”
