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“I’m not his ex-girlfriend,” I clarify, noticing the way he says the word, a sharpness to his tone, the insinuation heavy.
“Nick does not need any distractions and if you’re concerned about his return to the team, it would be good to remember that,” he now says, and I hate where this conversation is going.
“I’ve never once tried to hold Nick back,” I defend. “I was the one who told him to go to college when he wanted to stay here with me.”
“And look how far he’s gotten.” He crosses his arms and leans back in the chair, watching me, waiting for me to respond.
I don’t know what to say. I knew we’d eventually come to this road and crossing it would be difficult. I’ve told him to go back to the team when he’s able to but finding out I’m pregnant changes everything.
I go back to the conversation I had with my mom when I first found out I was pregnant, and she said that people make things like this work. There are Olympic athletes who are parents, and they make it work. It’s their job just like my job is here at Badger Creek. It’s just a job and if this is what Nick wants then I support it.
He can visit when he has free time, and the baby and I can fly out and visit with him. I would never want to be the reason he doesn’t go back to skiing. And right now, it feels like the coach is blaming me for the way things are playing out.
“Elissa, I’m sure Nick hasn’t shared this with you, but he’s under contract with us. He received a signing bonus and unfortunately that will need to be paid back if he doesn’t return to the team,” the coach informs me, and I feel my heart begin to beat faster.
Money.
Money we don’t have.
I run my hands over my thighs, trying to get rid of the sweat that has begun to form as I worry about where this is going, even if in the back of my mind I know.
“Breaking the contract will cost him half a million,” the coach says, dropping it on me and it feels like I’ve been slapped across the face. “We’ve put a lot of time and money into making Nick an Olympic athlete and that doesn’t come cheap.”
“I’m sure it doesn’t,” I mutter, my heart racing and I can feel the sting of tears begin to burn my nose. I can’t cry in front of this guy. He already thinks I’m ruining Nick’s career.
“That’s just for breaking the contract,” he continues. “He received a signing bonus and there are clauses in the contract about that needing to be paid back. And there’s also his sponsorships too.”
I’m quick to jump in with a response, knowing there’s no way Jeff and Pam would hold Nick to his Holden contract, if he even has one with them. They’ve always been like family and signing Nick to a sponsorship with Holden was really just something to show him how proud they were of him.
“Holden would never—” I start, but he cuts me off quickly, shaking his head and holding up a hand.
“He has more than just a sponsorship with Holden. There are others, and Nick knows that,” the coach tells me, and again, I find myself nodding, no idea how to respond. “Here’s the thing, Elissa, the team wants Nick back.”
“And I fully support that. As long as his doctor clears him to return to jumping, I’m all for it.” I swallow hard, a feeling of dread pooling in my stomach.
“The team doctor has cleared Nick, and we’d like to get him back out to Park City in the next few weeks.”
“But I don’t think his doctor has cleared him,” I interject, aware that if anything, his physical therapist and his treating physician have not cleared him.
“Elissa,” he says, my name a condescending word on his lips, “do you think we’d put our best jumper on the line?”
“I would hope not, but with you here telling me about breaking contracts and how Nick has never mentioned me, and calling him your best jumper, it all feels very desperate.”
I want to hold back and not ruin this for Nick, but his coach is treating me like I’m the reason Nick is back here at Badger Creek.
He lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “Desperate feels like accidently getting pregnant.” He air-quotes the word ‘accidently’ and that’s what pushes me over the edge.
“I have no idea why you’re here, but if it’s to make me feel guilty or worse, to try to push me out of Nick’s life, you need to think again. I will always support Nick’s career, but I will not let you ruin it. Forcing him to go back to jumping before he’s cleared is not a risk either of us are willing to take, Nick or me.”
“I’m not sure we got off on the right foot,” the coach now says, still never introducing himself, but it doesn’t matter anyway. I can see what the coach wants, and it has nothing to do with Nick’s best interests but everything to do with money.
“Really? I thought you coming in here and trying to bully me went great. That’s what you were trying to do, right, or did I just misread the whole thing?” I hiss, hating that this guy thinks he can pressure me into telling Nick to go back to the team.
“Why don’t you and Nick come and meet with the team doctor? I think he’ll put your mind at ease, and you’ll realize that Nick is ready for this.”
“Nick might think he’s ready. He’s been on the slopes since he was four years old. I think this is the most time he’s ever taken off, but that doesn’t mean his body is ready,” I shoot back. I’m sure the doctor is just as smarmy as the coach.
“Just hear us out, okay?”
