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We move as fast as we can, knowing eventually, our absence will be noticed. But this is the best way we can think of to minimize the chance of our messages getting intercepted. Throughout the walk, Cirrha and I take the opportunity to get to know one another better. She tells me about Taret, her partner who passed away after decades together.
"He was something else, Zeph," she says with a smile. "You would've liked him if you had known him."
Taret and I ran in different circles, but I remember seeing them together. "How'd he die?" I ask, and then immediately regret it. "I'm sorry, that's too personal."
"You're fine," she says with a sad smile. "He got sick. The Spring Seasonale did everything they could, but none of their magic could heal him fast enough." She kicks her toe in the dirt. "I'm lucky I got the time I did, you know? Any time in love is worth it."
I fold my arms behind my back, humming to myself. I have grown to realize that I was never in love with Viola. I love her, I worship her, and every part of my being is geared towards protecting her, but that's not what being in love is.
When I think about it objectively, I've never been in love.
"I'll have to take your word for it," I remark.
"Never been in love, Nightroot?" Cirrha grins widely at me.
Shaking my head, I do my best to avoid eye contact. "No, I don't think so. I thought I was with Viola, I mean, but now that it wasn'tlove that I was feeling. It was the purest form of devotion."
"You'll make someone very happy someday, Zeph." I glance at Cirrha from the corner of my eye, and she's glancing down, a warm flush on her dark cheeks.
After several hours, we arrive at the village, which isn't really a village at all. There is no sprawling landscape of homes and shops. Instead, a single small home sits at the edge of a dense forest.
I suppose, at first glance, one could be tricked into thinking behind this small guard house is a city hiding amongst the trees, but I know better.
Cirrha sends a message with Air magic to Plume asking for their location so we can get Viola to them, and then we shove open the braced wooden door that is jammed with disuse.
It's a single home with a bathroom and a bed dressed in threadbare linen. A light coating of dust covers all of the surfaces, and the scent of copper is strong in the air. This is clearly a place where Stone slept after he brought the winners to their deaths before returning to the city.
"This is the village?" Cirrha says, raising her eyebrows as she surveys the room. "Wow. How did we all let this go on so long?"
"Honestly?" I answer, taking a seat at the small kitchen table. "I think we just wanted to believe it so badly. The idea that the winners were given an incredible life made us feel better about the fact that we killed the losers."
"Are we really that selfish?" she asks, sitting across from me.Her rich brown eyes meet mine. "I thought we were doing what was right."
"We all did. It's all we've known."
We look at each other, really look, and it's like her eyes are stripping bare. It's like she can see through me, into my very being, and she's picking through the pieces that I keep hidden for the one that intrigues her the most.
"Do you regret it?" she asks quietly. "Any of it? The planning to expose the Race, giving that up for Viola, partnering with Himureal?"
My gut clenches, and I take a moment to dig deep into myself.
Do I regret it?
"I don't think it's that black and white," I say, sighing and pushing the front legs of the chair off the floor as I recline back. "If I were to go back and change a single thing, we'd be in a different place. Maybe a better place, but who can know for sure? What I do know is that every decision I made got me right here, right now. Serving my God, working to avenge the death of my friend, and getting to know you better."
Her eyes sparkle at that last one, but she doesn't say anything, folding her hands in front of her on the table. Her fingers are adorned with multiple gold rings that clink together with the movement. "If I could know for certain that changing a decision would bring Loris back to me, I would cut my arm off for the chance to do it," I say quietly. "But that's not the way the world works. Instead, I have to take what was presented to me and do thebest I can to not be a fuck up this time around."
"I don't think you're a fuck up," she says quietly.
"Kind of you to say, but come on, Cirrha, let's be honest with one another here. I have done a lot of fucked up things since Viola came into my orbit." I lower my chair to the floor and stand up, pacing across the small room. "And there's no one to blame for that but me, of course. Maybe some of it can be explained away by the draw, but still. I made the choices I did." I run my fingers mindlessly over the tattoos that adorn my neck. "All I can hope is those I have wronged forgive me and that I have a chance to make a difference in this world."
Cirrha stands, crossing the room to grab my hands. "For what it's worth, I like the man I see before me."
I can't help myself. Her eyes are open and vulnerable, her hands so soft in my own. I pull one hand from hers and wrap it around her neck and up to her hairline, pulling her face close to mine. We rest our foreheads together, breathing in each other's air. From this close, I can smell the rich scent of vanilla and honey on her skin. I raise my eyebrows in question, unwilling to take more than she wants to give me. An almost imperceptible nod of her head is all I need, and then my lips are on hers.
Her mouth is soft, her lips plush as they move against my own. It's a kiss that I feel racing down my spine, every part of my body alight with a flame of passion. I yank her body closer still, the feel of her soft stomach, her breasts, my hips notching between hers enough to weaken my knees.
The kiss is hungry, a call for more, for closeness thatit seems both of us have been craving for some time. Her hands drift up my chest, fingertips digging into my shirt and pulling towards me. "Off, take this off," she whispers against my lips.
