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I rolled my eyes, stood up, and started to walk away. I wasn’t going to play into these mind games. Competition brings out the worst in people; even children aren’t immune. My parents consistently warned me that other pods would try to undermine my confidence and make me more pliable to their ideas.
Link grabbed my arm, his dirty fingers curling around my bicep and pressing in deeply as if he wanted to bruise me.
“Viola.”
Jerking my arm from his grip, I turned to face him. Despite having two or three years on me, he wasn’t much taller than me. Malnutrition can stunt your growth. I rose on my toes to look directly into his eyes, which matched his hair and were the color of tree bark. Gritting my teeth, I hissed out, “Link.”
“My parents are going to be Expendable this year.”
I fell back on my heels and stepped away like he was contagious. Running my fingers in my tangled and dirty black hair, I tried to picture his parents. They had to be about the same age as mine. There was no way they could be Expendable yet. “How do you know?”
“They’re choosing it. They’re done fighting.”
I wondered why he was telling me this and not someone he was closer to, like Max or someone in his pod. But I believe I would be the same way. It’s safer not to tell someone in your pod because that makes you look like a lousy alliance, and they needed people to continue to protect him after the Race. I’m safer. Ultimately, sometimes, you just have to tell someone when something terrible is happening. Anyone. For all I knew, he came out here to yell at the sky and found me instead.
“I’m sorry to hear that. What will you do?” I asked, mustering up as much empathy as possible so the edge would leave my voice.
“Well, I’ll assist my pod in training the younger kids until my Ascension. Then, I’m going to win.”
I could not help but laugh at that. It was unheard of for someone to win on their Ascension year. Most winners were adults without children who had trained their whole lives.
“And how exactly do you think you are going to win?” I wondered, incredulous at his confidence.
A sneaky grin crept up his face, and I noticed briefly how very straight his teeth were. “Because I know where the elevator is.”
This brought forth hard laughter from me. There was never much of an opportunity for children to find joy in the Lowlands, but the myth of the elevator was something we all knew well. It was a story told to us by our parents to encourage us to be clever - but not too clever. Finding the elevator would take skill; if you were the first, you would immediately win the Race. It was a story we all loved to tell, but everyone knew it was not real.
There were no shortcuts in the Race.
“Okay, yeah, sure. Where is it?” He leaned close to me, lips so close to my ear I could feel his warm breath. He smelled like honey and rich earth.
“I would tell you. But you’re not in my pod.”
Link was my first love.
It felt like real love, but what kind of love exists in a world where anyone can die as a sacrifice to the Gods?
After his parents became expendable, we forged a friendship. I was the only person who knew it was purposeful.
Suicide by God.
It created a unique bond between us. I think he just needed that connection with someone who knew the truth.
In the year leading up to his Ascension, we grew closer still, and he shared his fears and dreams with me. Several years later, he still was convinced he would find the elevator. I didn’t have the heart to refute the idea. The optimism was endearing.
My parents had made it clear to me that there were no shortcuts in the Race, and the elevator was a myth. But it didn’t hurt to dream.
“When it’s your Ascension year, will you go for the elevator and come join me?” Link had asked me as we sat in the same meadow he found me in all those years ago. It was the day before the Race, and my heart ached knowing this could be my last night with him.
I leaned my head onto his shoulder, snaking my hand into his and nodding into the crook of his neck. Selfishly, I just hoped he would come back to me. He kissed my head, thumb stroking mine. It was the most physical affection we’d ever shown each other.
We’d grown up together, but I saw him with fresh eyes that night.
He was strong and lean, hair kept short out of his eyes. He was so handsome it almost hurt my teeth.
I was struck with a feeling of loss, even with him right there beside me. I lightly pressed my hand on his cheek, turning his face down to mine.
Worry and fear filled me with thoughts of him becoming expendable.
