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“Em?” Nadia yawns, sitting up in her bed, flicking on the lamp beside her. She scrubs her eyes. She looks like she just got back from Zebra Club a little while ago.
Blinking blearily at me, she runs her attention from my heels to my dress, then back to my face.
A smug-ass grin spreads on her face. “Did someone have avery funand exhausting night?”
My belly forms two separate knots. One of them drops into my guts. The other begins to rise in my throat and choke me.
I can’t tell her why I’m back here. I have to lie to her. I can’t ruin her bachelorette trip like this. Just nod and smile and agree, then go into the bathroom and wash up, get changed, plan my escape, then boom. Home free.
But I can’t.
Nadia’s expression morphs from devious to concerned.
“Emily, what’s wrong? You look pale.”
I suck in a rattling breath and feel the sting of tears at the back of my nose.Don’t you fucking do it! Do. Not. Cry.I have to keep myself together if I want to drop the news without ruining everything for her.
“I have to fly back to the States.”
“What? Why?” She jumps up, hurrying to me, her eyes flushed with worry. “What happened? You look as bad as Clara did before she barfed all over the fountain out front. By the way, photos there arecanceled.”
My mouth opens, then shuts. I don’t know how to begin.
Nadia searches my face, then she puts her hands on my shoulders, leaning in cautiously as a protective fire starts burning in her eyes. “Did that guy do something to you?”
“Konstantin?” I give a blank face, thrown off by her assumption. “No, he didn’t do anything.”
“Then why are you leaving?” She lowers her voice. “Emily, what’s wrong?”
I start shaking my head, and then suddenly, I can’t stop.
“My sister is dead,” I whisper, like talking softly can help make it not true. “She died a week ago and I just found out.”
It’s wild that I’m not crying. It’s as if the backs of my eyeballs have been sealed by hard wax that refuses to break.
“Emily, oh my god!” Nadia crushes me in an embrace that threatens to snap my spine. I wish she’d hug me even harder. The pressure is the only thing keeping me together. “I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Do you know what happened?”
“No,” I say honestly.Mom was talking about Olivia’s habits, but I refuse to believe that she went back to using.
“I just can’t believe it,” I whisper into Nadia’s hair. “I’m still in shock.”
“Of course you are! Who wouldn’t be?”
“I feel terrible for having to leave, but?—”
“No, don’t explain. You don’t have to justify this to me oranyone.Okay?”
My heart swells with immense love for my best friend. “Nadia …”
She guides me to the bed, sitting me down before standing in front of me, her eyes somber, but not unkind. “First, breathe. Second, you need to book a flight.”
I bob my head in agreement. I’m exhausted, burned out, and a hundred other things that on their own would be overwhelming. With Nadia’s help, I pop open Google and search for flights to New York.
It’s nice to have someone guiding my hand.
And instantly, any good feelings that dared to seep into my mind dissolve away as I face reality again.
Not a single flight is under two thousand dollars.
