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“Yeah … I’m starting to turn around. It’s been pretty hard.”
“Well, which neighborhood in Brooklyn are you in? Do you need me to come bring you anything?”
“N-No!” I stammer. “No, you don’t have to. I’m getting better. It’s just … I don’t want to get you sick. Y’know, in case I might still be infectious.”
God, I hope she believes me.
“Okay …” she says slowly. “Well, I’m just glad you’re okay. You could have at least texted me back this whole time.”
“I know. But I didn’t want you to worry.”
Somehow, I thought lying would be hard. But the words are coming out quick and easy, as if I’ve known how to do this my entire life.
“Not texting me back made me even more worried.”
“Yeah, I shouldn’t have done that,” I say sadly.
Nadia goes quiet. I check to make sure the line is still connected.
“Emily, I know you’re not sick, and you don’t have to keep lying to me.”
My heart shoots into my throat. “What do you mean.”
“Look, I know you and your sister were close. And I know it can’t have been easy to fly back on such short notice to deal with her death. You needed the space, and I totally respect that. I just ….” She pauses, as if she’s searching for the right word. “I just wish you would’ve let me help you. You don’t have to bear the weight of the world yourself.”
Her voice is soft, and all it does is compound my guilt.
“Thanks, Nadia,” I tell her. “That means a lot.”
“I love you, okay?”
“I love you too,” I insist.
She laughs sheepishly. I hear bedsprings, like she’s rolling around. “Wanna get dinner soon? There’s this new Greek restaurant that opened up in Astoria that I’ve beendyingto go to. But Lawrence isn’t interested. He tells me that it might set unrealistic expectations for our home meals together after the wedding.”
I can’t help laugh at that suggestion. “As if you ever plan on cooking.”
“I know, right?” She exclaims. “So, what do you say? Wanna go tonight?”
Tonight …
“I …”
“It’s totally cool if you can’t. It’s super short notice, I know, and we probably can’t even get a table since they’re going to be slammed with reservations. But I really want to see you. I’ve missed you. And I’ve just been so worried that maybe … I don’t know, that something might’ve happened to you. It’s good to hear from you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” I admit.I wish I can tell you everything that’s happened in the last ten days.“Tell you what. Text me the place and I’ll let you know if maybe we can—I don’t know—go check it out sometime soon?”
What are you doing, Emily? You know you can’t possibly keep that promise!
“I can do that!” Nadia’s enthusiasm only makes me feel even worse about digging myself deeper in a hole. “I’ll shoot that text over in a bit.” Then, she adds softly. “I’m glad you’re okay, Em. It’s good to hear from you.”
Except I’m not.
I’m anything but okay.
I have to get out of here.
38
