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I don’t want to lie to her, but the grisly details of the truth seem unnecessary. Especially since it doesn’t reflect how far Arsen and I have come.
“Okay, let me get this straight.” She holds up both hands. I don’t miss the way they tremble in the air. “Arsen is the father of your baby, and now, the two of you are married?”
I brace for impact. “Er, yes. That more or less sums it up.”
“Oh my God!” She lurches out of the chair and grabs me, screeching as she shakes me around in excitement. “I can’t believe this! You’re married!”
My ear is ringing. “You’re not mad?”
“Oh, honey!” She releases me with a laugh, squishing my face between her hands. “Of course I’m not mad. This is wonderful news!”
“But I got married,” I repeat stupidly. “And you weren’t there.”
“I would’ve loved to be there—I’m sure you were a beautiful bride—but I’m so relieved.”
I decide to never tell her I got married with puffy sleep face, wearing a pair of Arsen’s sweatpants.
“‘Relieved’?”
“I’ve been worried about you the last several months, what with the pregnancy and putting your yoga dream on the back burner. It just feels like you’ve had to sacrifice a lot.” She brushes away her tears and takes a staggering breath. “It’s no secret that I didn’t want you to give up this baby. And now, you don’t have to.”
I nod, hardly believing it all myself.
“Now, not only do you get to keep your child, but you’ll have a family of your own. After I’m gone, you’ll still have them.”
“You’re not going anywhere any time soon,” I say firmly, hoping that my words will make it true. “You have to meet your granddaughter.”
Tears drip down Mom’s cheek, right over her scars. “You have no idea how much I want that.”
We stare at each other for several long seconds, a pair of matching, tear-stained messes, one of whom has a slightly worse haircut than the other.
Finally, I swipe at my cheeks and shake my head. “This is silly. We shouldn’t be crying.”
“You’re right—we should be celebrating! My daughter is married. And I’m going to be a grandma soon.” She gasps, clapping her hands together. “We should organize a baby shower!”
“No, no, no,” I veto quickly. “This baby already has everything she needs.”
“A baby shower isn’t just for the baby; it’s for the mom, too. You’ve had a tough go of it lately, but now, you have something to celebrate. And celebrate, we shall.”
I have to admit—the idea does sound nice. But as I take in my mother’s waxy complexion and the dark circles under her eyes, I don’t feel much like celebrating.
“After she’s born,” I assure her. “Once you feel stronger.”
“Lai—”
A sharp rap on the door interrupts. I set down my scissors and open it gratefully.
Gratefully, that is, until I find Matvei standing on the other side, his clothes drenched with rain.
“Sorry to disturb you, ma’am,” he says respectfully. “But there’s a visitor for you at the front gate. He’s not on the approved list of guests, so I didn’t let him in. Now, he’s refusing to leave.”
Showing up uninvited and refusing to take a hint is all the description I need. Still, I drop my voice and ask, “Older man, big nose?”
Matvei nods, and, fuck me, I should’ve seen this coming.
Nothing good can happen in my life without my father finding some way to spoil it.
“I’ll be right there.”
