AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Tears blur my vision. I blink them away, because if I miss a single word, a single gesture, I might go insane. I’m vaguely aware of Arsen sitting next to me, just close enough for some of his warmth to leach into me.
“Arsen convinced me this was a good idea,” she says. “And now that I’m doing it, I think he’s right. I’m glad I get to speak to you. It’s nice to know that, just because a person dies, it doesn’t mean they’re gone. Because I love you, my darling daughter. I always have and always will. Mourn and cry now, and then move on. Life’s too short to spend it being sad. I’m ready for my next adventure. I want you to be open to yours as well.”
The video cuts off, and I only realize now that Arsen’s arms are wrapped around me. He’s squeezing me tightly like he might be able to keep my tears at bay. But they’re already flowing, already drowning me in a grief I can’t see my way out of.
“It was your idea?” I finally rasp. He nods and I ask, “Why?”
“Because I wanted you to have a piece of her. I wanted to be able to salvage something for you. And for Nina. So that you both have something to look back on.”
Suddenly, my throat feels desert-dry again. I bite into my lip so hard I feel it split. Then I push his arm off me and rise to my feet.
“You wanted to salvage something?” I repeat. “You’re the one who took it in the first place! You robbed me of three whole months with my mother!”
He flinches, his eyes darkening. “Roza?—”
“I wouldn’t need a video of my dead mother if you had given us those three months. She could have said all that to my face! I could have held her hand while she said it. I c-c-could have… She c-could have…”
I don’t know what to do with all the emotion raging around inside of me. It feels like a beast I can’t control.
No. No, it feels like a beast I don’twantto control.
On a whim, I grab the vase sitting next to the sofa and send it crashing to the floor in front of my feet.
The way it shatters—the control it gives me—feels so damn good that I keep going. I grab anything within my reach and hurl it at the floor. Within minutes, broken glass and porcelain littersthe tile around me, but I embrace this mad fury unfurling in the center of my chest.
And I reach for something else.
More.
More.
More.
I want to keep going until the world looks the way I feel.
Arsen doesn’t once try to stop me.
9
ARSEN
Her blonde hair cracks like a whip as she destroys anything and everything within her reach. She doesn’t discriminate as she breaks and ruins, the most beautiful natural disaster I’ve ever set eyes on.
I want to stop her, if only so she doesn’t hurt herself, but her eyes are roiling with the kind of storm I felt once a long time ago.
So I let her destroy.
Evelyn comes to see what the noise is, but I wordlessly usher her out of the room. She must tell the rest of the household to steer clear, too, because no one else comes in to check on us.
When the floor is strewn with debris and neither of us can take a step without crunching over glass or pottery or splintered wood, Laila twists around. Still searching. Still hungry.
She turns to the bed and rips into the pillows with a sob that wrenches out of her. Feathers flutter in the air, peaceful against the backdrop of her grief. She slashes through the white mess infront of her and stumbles backward. Her breath hitches as she steps on a shard of glass.
She glances down and then moves like she’s going for the mattress next, but I wrap my arms around her from behind.
“That’s enough,” I whisper.
“No!”
