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“I…” Shifting side to side, he licked his lips without seeming to realize how he was reacting. “I need to know what the rules are. I don’t know how to ask for…for what I want to do.”
Hmm.
“That is a good point.” Yes, if I was going to keep him, I needed to make sure he was confident. “You may ask for special cuddles whenever we have time for it, but on a very practical level, first thing in the morning, when you get home from work, and then right before bed would make it the easiest for me.”
Nodding slowly, Milo’s gaze didn’t really move from my chest. “Because you said I’m better than the pump and I make you feel better and you like taking care of me.”
I wasn’t sure if he was reminding himself of that or me, but I nodded. “Yes. And I like cuddling with you. I also like how relaxed you get and I like playing with you.”
There was no point in downplaying that. Every time I’d nursed him so far, he’d orgasmed. Ignoring that would just be stupid and unhelpful in the long run.
“I like cuddling with you.” Milo looked like he was forcing his eyes away from my chest as he curled into me, resting his head on my shoulder. “But…but I like talking to you and doing other things too.”
Ah.
“You like that I take care of you and I think you like that my insane family gives you so much gossip to tease Dally with.” That got a giggle from him as he nodded. “I knew it. You’re just using me for my ability to provide good gossip.”
“They’re kind of funny, Daddy.” Sounding much more relaxed, his hands came up and started softly stroking my chest. He didn’t seem to understand how little contact it took with him to make me full and aching, but I managed not to groan. “And I liked that you came to get me. You make me feel special and I like that. But…but I want to take care of you.”
Kissing his head, I started rubbing his back. “You already do. You give me a purpose in life other than work. Which is kind of amazing actually. You’ve made me more confident about lactating and it’s easier to see it as a positive aspect to who I am. I like your little hints about how much you like it. I know I’m still figuring out how to be comfortable talking about it in an intimate way with you, but that’s just something I’m going to have to work on.”
Most of my discussions on it had always been in a medical sense or a practicalhow do I live with the conditionsense.
Transitioning those conversations to include the more positive aspects of it was…awkward.
“You…” Milo paused, resetting whatever he was thinking. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with me seeing it in a positive way.”
I managed not to laugh but my chest jerked enough that Milo huffed and poked me. “I’m being understanding.”
He was being sweet and adorable.
“Baby, you find it relaxing, intimate, and erotic.” I chuckled as he sighed dramatically. “All I’d have to do to get little Milo to come out to play would be to ask about diaper time and take off my shirt.”
“Maybe. But you’re a good Daddy and that’s distracting.” His cute grumble had me fighting off more laughter. “I can’t help it if you’re sexy, though, either. That’s your fault.”
There was no reasonable response to that.
“How about we make it a part of our routine that when we come home, we sit down and you get to nurse?” Saying it flat out made my insides clench, but it didn’t last long. His eager nod made it impossible to stay stressed about something he found so exciting. “We’ll figure out which times you get to come and which ones you’ll wait until bedtime for your orgasm, but that’s a detail we can work out over time.”
Letting him come or even making him come every time he nursed wouldn’t be unreasonable, but it might not be necessaryfor him to be happy. A bit of teasing and denial until bedtime wouldn’t kill him and he might like it.
“Every time?” His little wiggle said he liked that idea even though he seemed to be doing his best to sound calm as he asked about it.
“Yes, every time.” If that just reinforced the idea that he had to come home every night, well, so be it. “We’ll put our stuff down and go right to the big chair or the bed.”
Those seemed like the most logical places to nurse him, but his shiver said he’d taken the idea in a different way. “One for nice special cuddles and one for really happy ones?”
I wasn’t sure if he was nervous about asking about his orgasm or if his little side was peeking out, but either way I nodded. “I think that’s a very good way to explain what we both want. I might ask you where you want to cuddle or I might tell you which one we’re going to use.”
I could feel the tension building up inside him but it seemed more about excitement than nervousness. “And…and the chair cuddles aren’t big happy, right, Daddy?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give you lots of hugs and cuddles, though. You just won’t get an orgasm in the chair.” Spelling it out got another shiver from Milo. “I might play with my boy, though. I love hearing you when you get excited and desperate.”
Whimpering softly, Milo jolted then rocked against me. “Daddy, that’s…that’s…”
“On your limits list.” The reminder had him letting out a sad whine. “But don’t worry, I know that whines and pouts aren’tsafewords, so you can complain and fight against it all you want.”
That got me more dramatic sounds before he finally let out a sigh. “Thank you, Daddy.”
