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“Visha was a special woman.”
“You knew her?” I ask.
He gives me a sad sort of smile, one that speaks of familiarity. “I have been on the far end of her wooden spoon many times for trying to”—he glances over at me with a wince—“borrowsome of her cooking.”
I roll my eyes at him, but he smiles with a soft look in his eyes and continues, growing serious.
“The first death is the hardest. But you cannot let it pull you down.”
“It is not my first death,” I tell him. Nor is it likely to be my last.
“It is the first one you’ve loved,” he says softly, and it makes me pause.
He’s right. Visha felt like home to me. Like my mother and Ryuu and Jarek. She felt warm and full of light. And now it feels like it was ripped away from me.
“Does it get any easier?” I ask.
“No,” he says with a sadness that makes me turn to look at him. “It’s a hole that forever stays with you. And sometimes it hits you out of nowhere and feels like it is the very same day.” The grief in his eyes makes me want to reach out and protect him from the pain he must be feeling. And then his eyes brighten,and a shadow of a smile forms as if he can hear me. It grows into a real one, with a sliver of joy in it.
“But then time passes, and you find other things to fill up that hole with. So many things that bring you laughter and joy that, when it hits you again, it doesn’t feel as hard. And you get through it.”
“You get through it?” I ask him, and no one but he answers.
“Yes. Especially when you have new friends like me who will make sure your days are spent with laughter and games.”
“We’re friends now?” I ask with a small grin.
“We have a blood bond. technically we’remorethan friends.” He gives me a mischievous smile, and I narrow my eyes on it.
“What does that mean—” I hear movement from behind me and turn around to find Nevan walking over this way.
Veles turns and glares at him and reaches for his blade as he grows closer, but I place my hand on his, stopping him. We don’t get to choose who visits her. That is not our decision to make.
I may not want to see him, but he has his own piece to say.
Ignoring us completely, he drops to his knees beside her and bends his head. His shoulders start to shake as I say one last silent goodbye to her before turning around and heading back to the palace.
I still know that I am to blame for what happened to Visha and that I will carry her death with me for a long time to come—maybe always. But for now, at least, I can focus on doing something helpful and make sure another person does not lose their life.
CHAPTER 27
Gold gleams all around me. It is speckled in the white marble floors, adorned as intricate carvings on the ceiling and bedpost. It is woven into the hem along the opulent gold velvet drapery that hangs along the spacious white bed. A bed large enough to fit a small Sidus family. The pile of white pillows, silken sheets, and thick, filled comforters are enough to keep them warm all through the harsh winters.
There is handcrafted furniture placed thoughtfully around the room, a small alcove with a desk and matching white wooden chairs that look too delicate to sit on, and small white flowers that are spread throughout the room, leaving a subtle floral smell that soothes something inside me.
The entire space speaks of grandeur, extravagance, and elegance. A room fit for a royal, and not someone like me. It only makes me wonder who my new friends really are.
I was too lost in my thoughts after the bridge and visit with Visha. The long day caught up with me, and my mind became blissfully blank.
A healer had come and gone after Kestral’s relentless claim that my small cuts and bruises needed healing, and then sleep finally dragged me under.
But now that I am alone and fully rested, I get a good look at the room they have placed me in. A room that is somehow still filled with a natural light and warmth.
I thought I would be taken back to my cell. Or any cell. The guards hate me; the lieutenant even more so. It doesn’t make sense for Kestral, Cyra, and Asra to hold this much influence over them, even if they are Caligo lords.
A knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts as it opens, and a handful of the servants come in with a large tub. They place it on the other side of the room and pull a dressing screen across it as they finish preparing it.
From the corner of my eye, I see a servant move toward me. It takes me a minute to realize it is Isolde.
