Page 57 of Antidote


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There’s a sadness in her voice and the way that her gaze drifts off into the distance, her eyes growing misty, I know exactly what she’s thinking about. My father. There was a point in my life—my early childhood—that they were in love. Over time, they fell out of love and everything fell apart. After the way their relationship and marriage shifted and failed, I don’t think that she would want to still be with him, but most people don’t get married to get divorced.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her softly and honestly as I sit up in bed. We never really talked about it and I can’t help but feel guilty for not being there for her through it more.

My mother shrugs, dismissing my condolences as her gaze focuses in on mine. “Some things just aren’t meant to be. People grow and sometimes they grow apart. You and Killian may have spent time apart from each other and you each grew separately, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t able to grow together.”

I pull my eyes from hers, staring past her at the wall as I mull over her words. She didn’t feed me the answers that I needed. Instead, she provided the guidance that I needed to figure it out on my own. “Thank you, Mom. For everything. I love you.”

“I love you too, but you don’t have to thank me, Ainsley.” She smiles at me, watching me as I climb out of her bed. I put her covers back in place and softly pad back across her room to the door. As my hand turns the knob, she calls back out to me. “I’m guessing that I’m not going to need two plane tickets then?”

Pulling the door open, I turn back to look at her. Her lips curl upward into a grin and her eyes shine with pride. Shaking my head, my smile matches her. “Maybe next time.”

She blows me a kiss as I slip through the doorway and softly close the door shut behind me. My footsteps are quiet as I walk back down the hallway, pausing when I reach the end of the hall. I glance at my bedroom, shifting my weight nervously as my eyes slowly trail to the door across from mine.

Inhaling deeply, I turn away from my room and head to the one across the hall. I grab the knob and it turns slowly as he left it unlocked. Pushing the door open, I quietly slip inside, softly closing it behind me as I step into the darkness of his room.

In the darkness is where I know that I can always find him.

THIRTY-TWO

KILLIAN

A small sliver of light shines through the doorway, illuminating her outline in the darkness as she slips into my bedroom. It creates a halo around her ethereal figure, only lasting for a split second before she closes the door behind her. Lying on my side in the darkness, I don’t bother turning on the lamp beside my bed.

She doesn’t need the light to guide her.

In the darkness is where we thrive. Her soul will always find mine in the darkest depths.

Ainsley inches further into my room, her scent overwhelming my senses as I breathe in deeply. Her footsteps are quiet, but I can sense her consuming the space. She steals all of the air from the room. My lungs constricting as she moves closer, until she’s hovering just above the edge of my bed.

Scooting backward, I move to the opposite side of the bed, pulling the covers back for her as she climbs into my bed. No words are needed as she enters my space. I pull the blankets back over her as she lies on her side, facing me. My eyes strain against the darkness, but her face is positioned in front of my window. The moon that hangs in the clear sky casts its light into my room, landing across her face.

Ainsley’s soft brown irises swirl as her gaze burns holes into mine. “Hi,” she whispers, her breath warm as it skates across my skin.

“Hi,” I whisper back, lost in the hues of brown in her eyes. “What are you doing awake?”

She shrugs lightly. “Couldn’t sleep.”

I raise an eyebrow at her, reaching out to brush a stray hair from her face. Pushing it back behind her ear, I trail my fingertips down the side of her neck, lingering on her soft skin. “And why’s that?”

Ainsley reaches out, her hand cupping the side of my face as her eyes slowly search for mine. The pad of her thumb is soft against my cheek as she slowly brushes it back and forth, stroking my skin. “Because I forgot to give you something before you left my room.”

“What did you forget to give me, baby girl?” I ask her as I drag my fingertips further down the side of her neck until I reach the base of her throat. Flattening my palm, I rest it along her collarbone, my eyes dropping to her lips as I’m sure she’s about to kiss me.

Her lips part slightly, her breath mixing with mine as she brings her face to mine. As her mouth reaches mine, she pauses. “My heart,” she whispers, her lips brushing mine, but she doesn’t press them to mine.

My heart pounds erratically in its cage, threatening to break free as my pulse thrums in the side of my neck. A shallow breath slips from my lips as I speak. “You sure you wanna do that?”

“Mhm,” she murmurs as she moves her body closer, pressing herself against me. With how short she is, her feet are at my shins as she drapes one of her legs over mine. My cock is instantly hard, pressing against her stomach and her tits are pressed to my chest. “You told me to come find you when I was ready to speak my truth. I’m ready to speak, baby boy.”

My heart clenches in my chest, my throat welling with emotion. What happened earlier was purely on impulse. It had been eating at me and I needed to get it out. It was selfish, to just cut my heart open and bleed for her without her consent, but Ainsley needed to know the truth.

And now she’s finally ready to give me hers.

Ainsley pulls her face away from mine, still on the pillow beside me, but she’s able to look me in the eye from this small amount of distance. “I know that I was hesitant and honestly, I felt like I had every right to be. After everything that we’ve been through, after all of the heartbreak and the lies, I felt like my hesitation was justified.”

“And it was, baby girl,” I tell her softly, reaching out to stroke the side of her face. “There was a lot of damage done in the past—most of it by my hand. I completely understand your reluctance in taking my word and believing it. I have to earn your trust back and show you that you can believe me. That I mean every fucking word I told you.”

“The fucked up thing is… after everything that happened, there is a part of me that believes you.” Her soft brown eyes stare into my soul, lighting a flame inside me. “I can see a difference in you. After we last ended things the night that Nolan called me out on everything, you have changed. You’re still my Killian, but I can see the work that you’ve done.”

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