Page 40 of Antidote


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I take a step closer to Ainsley, her body growing rigid as I lift my hand to her face. Wrapping my fingers around her chin, I lift her head up to look at me. Her brown irises swirl with torment, bouncing back and forth between my eyes. “That’s not going to happen, baby girl. I told you, it was self defense. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You can’t keep getting in fights and shit, Kill. Look at where it got you in the past.”

Sliding my hand to her cheek, I smear the blood that drips from my knuckles across her soft skin as I cup the side of her face. “I got released from prison early on good behavior. I didn’t fight at all there, even though I was fucked with constantly. And this is the first and the last time that it will happen here. Or anywhere. I promise you, baby.”

She swallows hard, her eyes damp as she stares into my soul. “I just can’t stand the thought of thinking about something like that happening to you again. I believe you, I trust you, but I also know how you are with fighting.”

A tear falls from her eyes and I catch it with my bloody thumb as I drag it across her skin. Her tears mix with the crimson color of my blood as it smears across the side of her face. “I forgot how it looks with my blood on you.” I swallow hard over the emotion that is thick in my throat, ignoring my cock as it throbs in my pants. “Fuck, baby girl. I know that it’s fucked up, but I love the way my blood looks on your skin.”

“You’re fucked up, baby boy,” she murmurs, her lips curl upward into a small grin. “Just know that I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“Good, because you’re just as fucked up as I am.” I know I shouldn’t, but I lean forward, my lips brushing against hers in a soft kiss. “And I love every fucked up part of you.”

Ainsley swallows roughly, her throat bobbing as she stares up at me. “What is it with you and your blood on my skin?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper, shaking my head as a ghost of a smile plays on my lips. “It just does things that I can’t explain. I would never want it to be your blood, just mine.”

The door behind Ainsley abruptly opens as Nolan steps out with his eyes on his phone. I quickly take a step back, him not noticing how close we’re standing together as he lifts his eyes. Ainsley ducks away, shielding her face that is painted with my blood and heads down the hallway toward the bathroom.

Nolan’s eyes drop down to my bloody hand as droplets fall onto the floor by my feet. “Let’s get you to the nurse to get that taken care of,” he says, glancing back up at me sympathetically.

“I’m sorry about what happened in there,” I say in a rush, not fully feeling any remorse or guilt, but I know that I need to cover my ass. I can’t fuck this up.

Nolan starts to walk toward the nurses’ station, motioning for me to follow after him. “You don’t have to explain anything. Ander told me what happened and that you were only defending yourself.” He pauses as we reach the nurses’ station. “You’re not in trouble, but we would prefer that it doesn’t happen again, okay? Let’s let the nurse fix you up, and I need to get Ander to my office.”

I nod. “It won’t.”

Nolan gives me a small smile, his hand clasping my shoulder as he turns toward the nurse that approaches us. “His hand’s pretty banged up.”

“Come with me,” the petite blonde stays, leading me into the infirmary area. I take a seat as she examines my hand, but I’m not really here in the room with her.

For the first time here, I feel like things might be going my way. I fucked up with Ander, but I managed to avoid getting in trouble. Things with Ainsley will never be easy, but we caught a huge break tonight.

We were able to communicate and, for the first time, I feel something that resembles hope.

I don’t trust it. Hope only ends in disappointment.

But for now, I’ll ride the high of it and wait to deal with the crash after it implodes in my face.

TWENTY

AINSLEY

Cartier hovers in the doorway of my bedroom. “So, you’re really leaving us, huh?”

Sitting cross-legged on the middle of my floor, I look up from the bag in front of me. I didn’t have many things here in the halfway house, so it was enough to fit in one box. I was putting some of my clothes in one of my bags when Cartier appeared.

“Not for two more weeks,” I tell her gently as I shrug. “It’s all part of the process. No one stays here forever.”

Cartier steps into my room and drops down onto the bed, tucking her feet underneath her. “No, don’t get me wrong… you were a fucking mess when we first met, so I am so fucking proud of where you are now.” She pauses, giving me a small smile. “It’s just gonna be boring without you here.”

I smile back at her, zipping my bag closed before sliding it underneath the bed. “You don’t have much time left here either. And plus, we can still hang out and shit.”

“Did you decide on that apartment that you went to see with your mom?”

I nod slowly, feeling the hesitation inside. About a month ago, my mom and I went to look at apartments. Well, we really only found one apartment, but I was nervous to pull the trigger at first. I still don’t know if I’m making the right decision. I’ve never lived a day alone in my entire life, but it felt weird going home, especially after everything that had happened.

“Why do you look like you could throw up right now?” Cartier questions me, tilting her head to the side as she raises an eyebrow. “You wanted that apartment, right?”

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