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The lie leaves a bitter taste on my tongue. My sharp response slices through her like a blade entering her chest. She winces but quickly recovers. I watch as she turns it off, completely detaching herself from the situation. Ainsley refuses to let herself feel, because feeling hurts more than allowing herself to feel the serrated shrapnel from our destruction.
Raina steps over to us, sensing that it’s time for her to intervene. I’m less than a fraction away from cracking. She slips something into my hand and I continue to stare at the flecks in Ainsley’s irises as Raina walks around behind her, wrapping her hands around Ainsley’s biceps.
“Let’s get you home, where you belong.”
Ainsley doesn’t fight her. Instead, she submits as defeat seeps in. Her arms fall to her sides, her shoulders hanging as she motions to the paper in my hand. “I was nothing more than a transaction to you.”
My brow furrows. I quickly chase it away, willing my face to look impassive. It isn’t until Ainsley turns around that I glance at the money that Raina slipped into my hand. I didn’t have to see it to know what it was. Money has a distinct feel against the palms of your hand.
It feels dirty. I ball it up in my fist. I don’t fucking want her money.
I lift my head, catching Ainsley’s dead eyes as she stares out the passenger window watching me. Her expression is completely void of any emotion, but her eyes hit me directly in my soul. She hates me and I didn’t try to stop it from happening.
I made this happen. I pushed her beyond the breaking point and there is no way that we will ever recover from this.
My eyes don’t leave Ainsley’s until the car turns in the opposite direction and I’m no longer able to have eye contact with her. I stand in place, watching as Raina’s car disappears from my line of sight. I crumple the bills in my hand, forming them into a ball before tossing it across the parking lot.
I didn’t come here for Raina’s money.
I came here for Ainsley’s life.
I came here to save her.
TWENTY-TWO
AINSLEY
My mom pulls her car up into the familiar driveway, the same one that I’ve known my entire life. I’ve never lived in any house other than this one, but for some reason, it doesn’t feel right walking in here. My movements are robotic as I climb out of the car and follow her into the house that I once called home.
I don’t have a home anymore, not after Killian.
“Ainsley.” My mother breaks through my thoughts as we stop in the kitchen. “Did you hear a single word that I said?”
I shrug my shoulders. She knows damn well that I wasn’t listening and to be honest, I’m not here to hear anything that she has to say. I’m here because Killian pawned me off like a fucking blood diamond.
He never gave a shit about me and it was finally clear to me. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall for his charm. Maybe it was never him that I actually fell for. All of it was drug induced, yet here I am. Completely fucking shattered.
“I was talking about where we are going to go from here. Now that you’re home, things are going to be different.” My mom gives me a small smile, one that doesn’t light up her hazel eyes as she pours herself a cold cup of coffee. “Your father doesn’t know that you are home.”
“Where is he?” I ask, not fully giving a shit, but if she’s going to try and talk, I might as well try and divert her attention.
“He moved out two weeks ago.” Her face falls and she rubs the back of her neck. I stare at her, studying her face. She looks like she has aged years in the past month or two. The bags under her eyes are defined. Her hair is a mess of disarray. She looks nothing like the polished mother that I left behind.
We’re all only human. Even people like my parents aren’t invincible to the tortures of the world.
“What happened?”
She shrugs, absentmindedly picking at her cuticle beds. “We grew apart over the years. It happens sometimes and it just isn’t worth saving. It’s better this way. He moved to Vegas, where he’s been doing more business, but we have been in touch, especially with you being gone.”
A harsh laughter escapes me. Of course, he couldn’t even stick it out with her or stay around until they knew for sure that I was safe. “How fucking classy of him.” In the back of my mind, the memory of him cheating on her lingers, but I don’t bring it up. There’s no sense in kicking her while she’s already down.
After all, if there’s anyone on this planet that has always gone the extra mile for me, it’s been her.
“Are you going to tell him that I’m home?”
Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine, searching for some type of hidden emotion, but there’s nothing there. I’m nothing. Just a lost soul, floating in the treacherous waters. I’m not drowning, I’m not sinking. I’m just floating.
“I can wait, if you don’t want me to say anything to him yet.” Her voice is tender and gentle. “We both knew that you were safe the entire time, since Killian made sure to keep me updated.”
