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“Fine.” He glanced at her again, so many words wanting to spill from his lips at that moment, but he landed on only one thing. “I lied.”
Her hands went still and her expression remained frozen before she looked at him with what could only be fear.
Quickly, he placed a hand on hers and shook his head. “It’s nothing bad. You see, I don’t really trust people that easily.”
“So, you thought it would be better to lie to them?”
Heat seared his face. “That’s not exactly where I was going with this.”
“What did you lie about?” She placed her fork on her plate, pulled her hand away from his, and then clasped both hands in her lap tightly. “Is it that you don’t really want me to stay?”
Caleb’s head whipped around, and he stared at her in surprise. “What? Of course not. I—” The heat intensified. “Geez, it’s not that bad. I just didn’t want there to be any secrets between us.”
Still, she looked incredibly uncomfortable. “You don’t.” It wasn’t a question. There wasn’t a degree of hope or emotion in her tone. He didn’t think she was capable of speaking so flatly.
“Of course not,” he repeated, wishing he’d kept ahold of her hand before. His tongue felt swollen and incapable of being used. Sweat dotted his brow for no other reason than he felt like he’d intentionally tricked her. Caleb released a breath. “I wasn’t orphaned.”
Emily’s brows pulled together. “Oh? So you weren’t raised by your siblings?”
“Oh, I was definitely raised by my siblings. But my parents weren’t dead at the time. I think some of my brothers believe they are now. I hired a PI to track them down and found out my dad passed away about a year ago. My mother changed her name and is living somewhere in Idaho, last I heard.”
Emily didn’t move. He’d expected her to tell him that she understood why he might not want to share this information. Heck, he would have loved to hear her tell him that it was none of her business. Instead, she looked sick to her stomach. Her skin had turned a visible shade of green.
“I don’t know why I lied,” he said. “The only thing I can think of is that I didn’t want you thinking any less of me.”
“Why would I think less of you?” she asked hollowly.
He shrugged. “Because you’re close to your family. I know you would do anything for them, just by the way you talk about them.”
“That doesn’t mean I would think less of you for being abandoned by your folks.”
“It’s not the fact that I was abandoned. It’s that I know where my mother is, and I have zero intention of doing anything about it.”
Her eyes flitted up to meet his. “Why?”
“Why would I? She’s the one who doesn’t want me.” He could hear the defensiveness in his tone rise. That wasn’t what this conversation was supposed to be about. He’d wanted to have amoment where he was vulnerable in front of her so when he told her how he felt, she’d believe him.
It looked like he was failing even worse than he’d thought possible.
“Why are you telling me this now? It wouldn’t matter if you never told me.”
“It might,” he whispered. When she continued to stare at him with questions, he sighed. “What if one day she showed up on my doorstep and I had to explain to you why she was there? I wouldn’t want to—Idon’twant to lie to you. Emily, you’re the first person in my life that I’ve wanted to be completely transparent with. It doesn’t even make sense, but there it is.”
“You’re right,” she whispered.
“I am?” Hope flooded his chest, practically cutting off his air supply.
“You’re right that it doesn’t make sense.”
And just like that, his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. “What?”
She pushed away from the table and rose to her feet. “We barely know each other. You don’t have any reason to feel this way.”
He shot to his feet as well, desperation taking over that failed hope. He grasped her upper arms and peered at her, watching her intently. “My reasons don’t have to make sense. My intuition is all I need. Can’t you feel it? Tell me you understand what I’m trying to say.” Caleb’s flustered words were only making matters worse. His eyes dipped to her lips and a lightbulb went off in his head. Maybe if he kissed her, they could put the awkwardness behind them. “Emily,” he whispered, moving closer, “I?—”
“There you are.”
Both Emily and Caleb jumped at the intrusion.
