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We talk for a few minutes while I show him the tools I’ve been using and some of the techniques I’m trying out. Dad’s style is far different than mine. He worked as an illustrator for children’s books and graphic novels for his entire career. Now that he’s retired, he sometimes paints murals for doctors’ offices, hospitals, or schools when they want some bright, friendly welcoming characters. The lens I view the world through has always been darker than his, but he’s never failed to encourage me to use that in my work. Although, I think I worried them once when I was twelve and drew the smashed raccoon lying in our road.
We move from room to room, taking our time while we’re both in our element, discussing art. The last drawing is the one of Calliope, draped over the log, staring up at the stars.
A full minute ticks by as he stares at it in silence before he turns to look at me, his eyes shining. “You’re in love,” he says softly.
The remark catches me completely off guard. “What?”
His gaze returns to the drawing. “You’re in love with her. Christ, Arlow, this is a masterpiece. Don’t sell it.” His response makes me think of Calli’s reaction when she saw it. She said I’d made her beautiful, but what I see in the drawing is simply her.
“It’s not like that.”
“Bullshit someone else. I know love when I see it.” He tilts his head to look at me. “Does she know?”
A knot forms in my throat. I’ve never struggled with accepting my fate. I’m fine on my own and always have been, but with her, the pain of it is nearly unbearable. It’s so unfair that someone like that—as beautiful and special as her—could want me, maybe even love me when I can’t accept it. Insult to injury a thousand times over.
If I can’t admit how I feel to her, I can at least admit it to myself and the person who has always understood me the best. “No, she doesn’t.”
Both of us stare at the drawing as he asks, “Is she with someone else?”
“No, it’s just…complicated.”
“Usually is.” He nods. “But love doesn’t come along every day. I’ve never met anyone who makes me feel like your mother does. If you find that, do whatever is necessary to keep it. It’s worth it, son. It’s worth everything you have.” His dark eyes look into mine. “Do you understand?”
CHAPTER 26
CALLIOPE
Arlow’s parentsare such sweet people, it’s easy to see where he gets his kindness from. It’s heartbreaking that he avoids any loving connections and I hope the day comes when he realizes that’s not the answer. He deserves so much more than he’s let himself have.
His mother questioned me about our relationship and didn’t seem to quite believe we were only friends, but she didn’t press the subject. I’m not surprised. It seemed like every time I looked at him today, his eyes were on me. Every time he passed by me, his hand would land on my back or my side. It isn’t the behavior you’d see between platonic friends. I’m sure she also noticed I slept in his room.
They’re leaving in the morning, so I excuse myself and head to bed early to give Arlow more time with them without my intrusion. After a long hot shower, I crawl into his bed and lose myself in a romance book. It’s nice to read about love that always somehow finds a way. It’s too bad real life isn’t like that.
I’m so wrapped up in the book, I barely notice when Arlow heads to his bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. The sex scenes are off the chart hot. Arlow walks out just as I’ve finished a particularly scorching scene. My mouth dries up at the sightof him and my words fall out without a moment’s thought. “Oh, you’re doing that on purpose.”
His brows dip in confusion and he freezes in place, looking down at me. “What?”
“Gray sweatpants and bare chest? Have some mercy. Your parents are right down the hall.”
His grin is equal parts pleased and embarrassed. It only turns me on more. That the same man who said he wanted to fuck me and fuck me, who had no problem dirty talking while making me come until my ears rang can look so flustered at a compliment is the most adorable thing ever.
On the night we slept together, the dark helped obscure the scar on his chest that’s well hidden in the branches of his tree tattoo. It’s no wonder I didn’t notice it before.
He shakes his head, grabs a shirt from his closet and pulls it on. “I hooked up my old DVD player if you want to watch a movie.”
It’s too early for either of us to sleep. Before the trouble started, we would’ve been out at the firepit, or he would’ve been working in his barn this time of night.
“Sure. Do you want to sneak out and smoke first?”
“I’ll just crack the window a little.”
A few minutes later, we’re lounging in his bed, high and watching a goofy comedy. Arlow wraps his arm around me, and I cuddle close to him like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
As my high fades and the movie nears its end, my fingers play on his collarbone. Relaxed and content, I’m starting to zone out when his husky voice surprises me.
“Calliope, if you keep touching my neck, I’m going to fuck you.”
My breath catches in my throat as my hand stills. Do I want this to happen again? It broke my heart that he regretted it last time, but I know now this isn’t going to lead to anything more.Soon I’ll be back in my cabin, without the temptation of having him right beside me, or I’ll be moving again. If he wants this, I’m not going to pass up another chance to feel him inside me.
