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Digging my feet into the sand, I tilt my head back, letting the sun warm my cheeks. “I don’t know, but I’m not stressingover it for now. I’m going to get nice and tan, drink too many margaritas, and have fun.”
“Girl yes! Live your best life and send me pictures. Don’t play his damn games. You deserve better.” She mumbles something to someone in the background before returning to the conversation. “Mom says hi and to ask if you’ll bring her a magnet from Florida. She collects each state.”
“Absolutely. How are things there? Everything work out with having Charlotte back?”
“It’s like she never left. We’re good. Don’t worry about anything here. Go have fun. Get some selfies with a hot beach guy and I’ll accidentally send it to Arlow.”
Laughter spills out of me. She really is the best. “You’re crazy.”
I haven’t heard from Arlow since I left but minutes after talking to Silver, I get a text.
Arlow
I know you’re pissed at me. Can we talk tonight once you’re back?
As much as I miss him right now, I’m doing the right thing. Sparing my heart. Because just seeing his name on the screen makes my chest ache.
CHAPTER 19
ARLOW
I’ve resisted contacting Calli,despite the urge to apologize again or try to get her to talk to me. She’s upset with me and has every right to be, but I hate how we left things between us, especially after the night we had together. Mistake or not, it was the best night of my life. She let herself be so vulnerable with me only to find out hours later what I’d done before we met. I’m not sure if she’s angry or hurt or both. I just want to fix it. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt her.
After not hearing from her the last few days, I finally texted her this morning since she’s due back any time. She left me on read.
Ten hours later, she hasn’t responded. I’m not going to be able to concentrate until I see her get home safely tonight, even if she doesn’t want to hear from me. Instead of working in the barn as I have been almost nonstop, I sit on my porch. I’m usually an extremely patient person but every minute that I don’t see headlights coming down our road feels like an eternity.
To try to distract myself, I open the app to the new trail cameras I installed in the woods a few days ago. Only two of them receive a strong enough signal for me to get real timenotifications and see the pictures on the cloud. The others will require me to pull the memory cards manually.
Two videos wait for me. In one, a deer wanders past, pausing near the bridge to drink from the stream. In another, a rabbit hops by. No men in masks or other trespassers. I’ve installed some security cameras around my barn and house as well. A package holding cameras for Calli’s place waits for her on my kitchen table. I’m not sure if Handleman is who I’m dealing with but I’m not taking any chances.
Minutes tick into an hour and then another. It’s getting late, our time of night, and I won’t be surprised if it’s the middle of the night before she turns into the driveway. My phone buzzes on the table beside me and my heart leaps at the sight of her name. Until I read her reply.
Calli
I’m not angry. Added some concerts to my trip so I’m not coming back for a couple of weeks.
What? Without giving it a thought, I call her. It goes to voicemail, and after struggling with what to say, I hang up without leaving a message. As soon as I do, another text comes through.
Calli
I need some space. Your secret is safe. We can talk when I get back.
Goddamn it. I shouldn’t have touched her. I fucked everything up. She doesn’t even want to hear from me. My instinct is to apologize again and ask her to talk to me for a minute but what’s that going to solve? She’s told me what she needs. Space. The ache that swells inside me at the desire tohear her voice and know that we’re going to be okay after this is excruciating but it doesn’t override that fact.
My fingers hover over my phone, hesitating. What is she doing right now? Driving on a dark highway to another concert? Partying at a bar or hotel? Camping out for the night in that RV? It shouldn’t matter. She isn’t mine. Didn’t I just tell her that I couldn’t be with her? I have no right to be jealous that she’s with that stupid manbun hipster fuck who couldn’t wait to hug her before climbing into her car.
Finally, I type out a reply.
Me
I understand.
What else can I say? She reads it immediately and doesn’t respond.
The silence closes in around me as I set my phone down. Two more weeks. It feels like an unbearable amount of time to have this uncertainty between us hanging above my head.
Fuck. I get to my feet and head for the barn. There’s no need for the mask or glasses. No livestreaming is going to happen. Instead, I uncover the canvas of Calliope and begin to work on drawing the light in her eyes that I always see in her.
