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I separate us while keeping a firm hold on her shoulders. “I understand where you might get that misconception, but Shinji pushes within the parameters I set. We work because, even when he’s a brat, he knows not to go too far.”
She searches my gaze, inspecting me for doubts.
There are none.
“If I’m right, you have to trust me.”
“I do.” Her eyes widen. “I do,” she repeats in amazement, then again with more conviction.
My heart doubles its beat at her certainty.
“You won’t push me beyond what I’m ready for.”
I angle a glare at her. “Do you remember your safe word?”
“Tora, but I won’t need it. Not with you.”
I take a breath to clear my head. Lakeshia’s faith in me is a heady drug, doing a number on my ego and my heart. This woman has to know the power she’s handing over to me so lightly, but I have to be sure. “Lakeshia, I need you to promise you won’t tough things ou?—”
“I won’t.” She shakes her head but slows and a frown downturns her lips. “Well, I never needed to before, so I think we’re good.”
I pinch her chin and lift her face until she meets my gaze. “You only had sex before where everything was superficial and physical and never touched you in any way that mattered. What you’re asking for us to do is different. You’ve never completely handed over control of your body, mind, and emotions to someone else, and I need you to pay attention to your needs. I’d rather not be the reason you need another session with your therapist.”
She grabs my arm and squeezes. “I won’t put us at risk.” A sliver of a smile widens her mouth with a return of her sexy confidence. “Takeshi, will you fuck me, please?”
I don’t make Lakeshia wait too long for my response. I lift her in my arms.
She stiffens before relaxing her body in my firm grip. It’s the first time I’ve carried her, though there’ve been many occasions I wanted to act the overprotective Neanderthal to her damsel in distress if only she would show when she’s suffering.
My reaction is a major reversal considering I despise women who rely on others to save them. Not that Lakeshia ever would. She’s the conductor of her healing. Despite her ability to stand on her own strength, my Lakeshia deserves a man who can take the lead without steamrolling over her.
She deserves me.
Despite the many nights I’ve held Lakeshia close, there’s something about this moment that clarifies my purpose in our relationship. Shinji views her as our heart, the mortar holdingus together, but he’s only partially right. We’re each other’s glue, the lifeblood that gives us everything worth living for. In reality, we are the perfectly baked cake.
Shinji is the rich, fatty butter and milk that makes the texture of the cake so good all anyone wants is to feel him in their mouth. Lakeshia… She’s the secret ingredient that propels a basic recipe into an award-winning masterpiece. And me? I’m the flour, providing the structure that allows Shinji and Lakeshia to shine.
We enter the bedroom, and I kick the door, not taking the time to ensure it’s closed. All my attention is on the woman in my arms. I stand her up and release her. She immediately raises her hands to her clothes until I halt her movements with a soft squeeze.
“I have rules. Touch yourself only when I permit you. Touch me only when I allow you. Eyes on me, no exceptions. And last, speak only when spoken to or when you need to use your safe word. If you defy me, there will be no orgasm for you.”
“Simple enough.” She takes a deep breath, drops her hands to her sides, and stares me in the face. Although she tries to hide it, a small twitch at the corner of her eye betrays her dissatisfaction at the prospect of not coming.
A conflict rages inside me at the possibility of denying Lakeshia. Of watching her as her sexual frustration produces beautiful tears dripping down her cheeks while her pleas for release land on deaf ears.
Oh, how good I can make her feel as I comfort her sensitized body where even an innocent caress could launch her into a massive release. At the same time, I want to gift her with the kind of orgasm she needs to dispel the fears currently stopping her from sharing her body with Shinji.
Seconds pass by, how many, I don’t know. In the time span, I soak her in. “Do you know how admirable and brave you are?”
Her breath hitches, and her lashes flutter with her surprise at my opening.
“I expect a response.”
“I’m a survivor. Not sure how much bravery clinging to life involves.” Her lips twist in a sardonic smirk.
I pull a lock of hair from her updo and twirl it around my finger. “A lot. Every time you shatter, you rebuild. And the miracle is, you aren’t bitter. You don’t lash out and hurt people because you’re hurt. It takes a lot of courage to wake up every day and choose to prioritize other people’s safety over your loneliness.”
Lakeshia’s breathing quickens and a sheen covers her eyes. I stroke her shoulders until she focuses on me again.
