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“My skin feels sensitive, like there’s this hyperawareness of the air and every cell you guys are touching to how it connects to the rest of my body. With Shinji at my ear and you at my arm, I feel you more intensely here.” She presses a hand to her lower stomach.
“Has anyone ever cherished you before?” I ask while sliding my lips down to her clavicle.
Silence meets my question. I glance at her from my position but she doesn’t meet my eyes.
Takeshi takes her chin and faces off with her defiance. “I’d also like to know the answer to Shinji’s question.”
A flash of longing softens her eyes but a pained shadow clouds the warm sable before all emotion disappears as quickly as it appeared and her barriers are back in place.
I peer closer at her. Her defenses are up again, but not as strong as earlier.
She shrugs her shoulders. “What would be the point? I can never be what they need.”
Takeshi’s entire stance softens. I’m also affected by the loneliness and desolation she reveals in her response because, for a long time, I lived in a love desert like Lakeshia, devoid of genuine affection. Until Takeshi.
“No,” I agree with her second point. “You are everythingweneed, but you still deserve to be adored by everyone.” I press my lips against her eyes. “Admired.” I move to kiss the tip of her nose. “Treasured.” My last press of lips lands over her heart.
Her organ thuds violently against my mouth, and I kiss the area again.
Takeshi sweeps his hand from her cheek to clasp her hand and bring it to his lips. “Allow us to do what no one else has.”
Lakeshia snatches her hand to clasp it against her chest, her breathing becomes erratic and I begin to worry that she’ll pass out from lack of oxygen. I exchange alarmed glances with Takeshi.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, reaching out to her, but she balks and collapses on the floor into a violent shivering ball while shaking her head.
Takeshi rips the comforter off the bed, wraps it around Lakeshia’s body, and lifts her until he can seat her on his lap. He rocks her and rubs his cheek against her forehead. His soothing voice filters to my ears although his words remain unintelligible.
I want to join them, to aid in providing comfort to our woman but my feet refuse to move. I watch as Takeshi’s defenses against Lakeshia crumble in the face of her internal turmoil as his whispers become more fervent with no reaction from her.
While my Lakeshia locks herself, far away from me and Takeshi, a fissure spreads across my heart. Left on the outside, alone and watching as if from a world away, I’m powerless as they share different sides of this gut-wrenching experience.After all, I make situations lighter through laughter and innocent pranks. None of which will ease what is happening to Lakeshia.
My isolation spears through me until Takeshi’s anguished gaze finds me, freeing my feet and allowing me to join their circle. I may not be able to rely on my go-tos but I can’t stand by the sidelines and leave them alone. Whatever is causing Lakeshia to isolate herself is big and impossible to handle alone.
I crawl behind Takeshi and wrap my arms and legs around them. Neither of us speaks, allowing the silence and our body heat to do their work. Lakeshia’s shivers slowly dissipate but we wait for her to exhibit the first signs of coming back to herself.
“You can let me go now,” she whispers.
“We could, but we won’t. Not until we know what just happened,” Takeshi says.
“I…don’t know.” She takes a shaky breath. “This has never happened to me.” She squirms in Takeshi’s hold. “Please, let go. I promise I’m okay now.”
“I doubt that.” Despite voicing his skepticism, he releases Lakeshia.
She crawls out of the blanket and bed to escape into the bathroom.
“What the fuck did we do?” Takeshi asks, his brow scrunched in bewilderment.
“No fucking idea. Everything seemed to be okay…”
“Until we made it personal.” Takeshi shakes his head. “She’s hiding something from us.”
I agree, have felt the knowledge in my bones that she has secrets. “The only way she’ll tell us is to make her trust us.”
“Damn you, Shinji. Why her? I can’t keep her at a distance when…that’s been your plan all along, hasn’t it? Make me care about her so you can keep her.”
“Sowecan keep her.” I cup Takeshi’s shoulder and beseech him with my eyes and words. “I didn’t manipulate you into feeling what you do, but I’ve known she was perfect forus, you and me, almost from the start. Help me convince her she belongs with us.”
“After what happened tonight, that may be impossible.”
