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“ I didn’t find sleepwear while unpacking; only your bonnet.” He points to the foot of the bed where the pink silk cap lies.
“My skin is my sleepwear,” I respond without thinking.
He presses me into his body with his hand on my stomach, dangerously close to the top of my pussy. “That’s something the three of us have in common.” His breath skates across my neck, raising the skin along my body and sending signals to my needy breasts.
My nipples peak and I want to rub them, but I won’t give Shinji any ideas. Although I’m a sex maestro and I know many ways to stimulate the senses without intercourse, our arrangement isn’t about pursuing pleasure. And there may be a small part of me still smarting from his earlier comment.
“Come on, I’d like us to talk while it’s just the two of us.” Shinji takes my hand and leads me to the bed. “Do you mind if I undress you?”
I eye him suspiciously. “Talking does not require nudity.”
“True but in this case, I do. You can do the honors if you prefer.” He pulls his shirt over his head and his hair falls in dramatic waves around his shoulders.
It’s a damn sin how sexy he is. He can easily make a girl forget why she’s mad at him.
The rest of his clothes disappear, leaving him completely naked to my view. My mouth goes dry. Shinji’s physique is the perfect blend of cut muscles, not too bulky and not too slender. Enough to make me feel his embrace despite our size difference.
“Takeshi is a stickler for order,” he says as he gathers his discarded clothes. He turns to place them in a discreet laundry bin, and I have to catch my breath. A colorful explosion encompasses his entire back, the most domineering image in the center is an enormous dragon.
His tattoo shouldn’t surprise me. A lot of yakuza have tattoos going down their arms. They often came to my club. Yet it’s obvious the artist Shinji used is next level. I curl my fingers, reminding myself not to succumb to desire first. They need to want me more than I need to want them.
“He can’t abide clothes on the floor.” Shinji hops into the bed with his elbows behind his back. “Please don’t keep me waiting.”
I shrug away the remnants of my ire and disrobe, remembering to protect my hair in my sleep cap. After placing my clothes in the bin and retrieving my blanket, I join Shinji in bed.
“What do you want to talk about?” I stuff the blanket under my pillow, assured if I’m visited by nightmares, they won’t last long.
This blanket is ineffective against sex dreams though, so good luck to me.
“You,” he says as he watches me with interest. “I want to know everything there is to know about you. But first…”
Shinji demonstrates the strength under his leanness by maneuvering me into his arms. He does it so fast I have no time to protest or put up a fight.
“Mmm, that’s better. I’ve been wanting to hold you like this all day.” He rests his chin on my head. “What do you do for fun?”
The question hangs in the air while my body lies tense in Shinji’s arms.
“I’m a bit of a daredevil myself. There’s nothing that makes me feel more alive than looking my mortality in the face.”
“That sounds like the exact opposite of something a man desperate for fatherhood wants.”
“I disagree. There is no reminder more poignant of your place in the world than the responsibility of a new life. Staying up late to ensure your baby is breathing…only caring for a child will give you that kind of sustained adrenaline for years.”
“You’re talking like a baby is an extreme sport.” I underestimated the power of Shinji’s embrace. I don’t just feel it, he envelopes me and I begin to relax in his hold.
“It is. I’ve seen how our little cousin Kioshi runs Katsuo and his wife ragged. But it’s not just the highs. I want the lows…I want everything. There’s so much love inside me and Takeshi that it would be selfish not to share.” Shinji’s wistfulness rings crystal clear.
His genuine desire for a child makes my long-buried conscience rise. But I’ll proceed with our agreement for other reasons. At least outwardly. Even if I survive a pregnancy, our contract stipulates my involvement won’t end there. Besides the five years where I don’t sign away my rights, they expect me to be available for “Mommy and me” discussions, which they will determine as the situations arise.
I’ll deal with any fallout if I fall pregnant. And that’s a big if.
I’ve hardened my heart to many things life has thrown my way, but being a part of a child’s life isn’t one I can walk awayfrom, so I squash the guilty feelings. I’ll get what’s mine first then bounce.
“We’ve gotten off topic,” he says. “I asked what you do for fun.”
I shrug. “I’m not sure I know what fun is anymore. I’ve been kind of busy surviving.”
Shinji’s arms clasp me tighter to his body. His naked, aroused body. I’ve ignored his condition since slipping between the sheets. Although he is sending an obvious message, he does not act on it.
