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You mean getaway. A damn shame really. You gave up eye candy and a sexy crooning voice. And for what? Because you’re scared of repeating a little uninhibited dick sucking? Self-deprivation should be a hate crime.
I refuse to engage her. Doing so would not only encourage her but will likely cause an unwelcome visit to a psych ward. Taking the insults is a much better solution. So what if I’m the coward she calls me? No one else needs to know. Just like they don’t need to know I have an unhinged alter ego intent on whoring me out to my tenant.
“Kenya?” a voice calls from in front of Earnest’s General Store.
My abrupt stop causes Jackpot to shift in her kitty backpack, as curious as I am to discover the identity of the voice. I turn to see Mayor Pedro Salas nod and leave the shop owner, a relieved smile on his face and more energy to his step than seeing me warrants. He is probably the only man in Escondido Bay my grandmothers haven’t tried to set me up with given Glamma Onyx’s fixation with him.
If being on my grandmother’s “Hit It” list isn’t bad enough, poor Mayor Salas compounded his misfortune in front of Earnest’s store. He probably walked by the storefront without thinking and got caught by Earnest’s back-in-the-day nostalgia. I wait for Pedro to cross the street and join me. I have a temporary reprieve from the trap my grandmothers laid out for me at home and I’m enjoying this free man’s air too much to willingly place myself in Earnest’s path.
“Onyx…your grandmother mentioned you moved back into town during last month’s town hall.” He pats me on the shoulder with more enthusiasm than necessary while furtively watching if Earnest retreats into his store.
I glance back to see the door closing behind Earnest as he enters his building.
“Thanks for that.” Pedro sighs and walks with me down the street. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to stop by and catch up. I can’t believe how much you’ve changed since high school.” He can’t hide his appreciative side glance.
I should be flattered. People are supposed to change with age, yet his compliment reminds me why I’m here. Not all changes are good, and at this point in my life, I don’t know if the adjustments I’ve made have been worthwhile.
“Look who’s talking.” I nudge him with my shoulder. “You’re the freaking mayor now. You’ve surprised us all by turning your life around enough to run a whole town.”
His self-deprecating laugh offers a glimpse of someone holding himself back. “I had to stop disappointing everyone who kept giving me chance after chance to make something of myself. Small-town politics is hard.”
I take him in, willing for him to see how impressed I am by the changes he’s made. “You seem to have grown into the position. Running behind my grandmothers while they wreak havoc over the town must be a superpower because most mayors don’t last too long once they’ve told them no.”
At the mention of my grandmothers, his mouth tightens. He doesn’t say anything, but the whole town knows Onyx Richardson wants him on her good side in a bad way.
“Every day I learn something new, but I actually have an ulterior motive for wanting to meet with you.”
I frown but keep my questions to myself.
“This year is a big year for the town. It marks the 300thanniversary of Escondido Bay’s founding.”
I stare blankly at him.
“I’m also up for reelection next year.”
“Okay…” Out of politeness, I drag the word out. Otherwise, pointing out how none of his points have anything to do with me would be rude.
Pedro combs his fingers through his hair with a frustrated sigh. “Are you forgetting how important Founder’s Day is to the town? The citizens take this day very seriously. When it goes bad, no one is unscathed.”
“Oh, yeah, there was that time in middle school. Which mayor did we have then?” I snap my fingers as if the sound will jog my memory.
“Mayor Diep. The town didn’t wait for the next election to oust him.”
“Well, yeah. Heisthe reason the petting zoo animals went on a rampage in town. There’s no coming back from having that business of ferrets raid Beverly Lynn’s bakeshop.”
“Or the brace of ducks that went after poor Harold.”
“Whoever gave that child a duck call whistle didn’t do him any favors. I heard he’s still traumatized. Just seeing a duck on TV will cause him to hyperventilate.”
“It’s a shame, too. Hunting season became his father’s saddest time of year. Remember how he used to brag about passing on his secret hunting techniques and duck recipes? You’ll see the dust in Harold’s wake before you get a duck close enough to him now.”
I cover my mouth to suppress the giggle trying to escape. “If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. No one in town was safe.”
“Not even Pastor Bishop’s wife. The skunks sprayed her while she was in the middle singing, ‘May The Fragrance of Jesus Fill This Place,’ and I have never been the same since.” Pedro’s mouth wobbles but he soon loses his fight against the irreverent memory.
I eye Pedro up and down, barely keeping my amusement at bay. “I always suspected the skunks were the work of some opportunistic kids who couldn’t help themselves and just had to take advantage of the pandemonium.”
Pedro pointedly glances everywhere but at me until he calms enough to turn to me with a straight face.
