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Esther explored the top of a nearby dresser, ignoring the way Ashley’s sweater tunic rode up, showing more of the thighs her black pleather leggings were doing nothing to hide. The room felt a little warmer.
Ashley slapped the covers on either side of her and sat up. “You know, she’s only okay with this because you’re not going to get her precious, little girl pregnant. This is still some patriarchal, heteronormative bullshit.” Ashley cussing in this pink and white cacophony of millennial glory days broke away some of the nervous jitters building in Esther’s gut.
“Did you just cuss?” Esther asked. “In your parents’ home? What would Mister Unicorn think?” She lifted a ceramic unicorn from the dresser near her.
“You are quite mistaken. That happens to be Zenon, Unicorn of the 21st Century, and she has heard and seen much worse.”
“Ah, to be a unicorn on this nightstand.” Esther set Zenon back where she’d found her. “I can take the floor if you’re uncomfortable sharing a bed.”
“That’s not the point.” Ashley jumped up, using the fluffiness as a spring, and began unpacking. “And no, you’re not sleeping on the floor. You’re the guest here. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. That wasn’t part of the deal when I proposed this plan.”
“You know.” Esther leaned against the dresser—watching for unicorns—and getting a good look at the bed-shaped cloud. “It’s a pretty big bed.”
Ashley met her gaze. Days ago, Ashley had pointed out she was mostly unkillable, and that reminder had Esther feeling a little braver. Like maybe she could suggest something reckless.
So Esther added matter-of-factly, “And I’m not uncomfortable.”
Esther had messed up that night on the beach when she’d scared away Ashley’s advances. She hadn’t been dishonest. Esther had only dated men and, until that moment, hadn’t seriously considered the idea of dating a woman. Because what was the point? She liked men. No sense in considering her sexuality any further. She didn’t need to come out to her friends and family or enter the politics of another dating pool or take up space in a queer community. Uther would tell her there’s no max capacity in the queer boat, but that didn’t stop her from being unsure. She was still a cis woman who was attracted to men.
And Ashley.
But that night under the stars was an awakening. Like a curtain she never noticed pulled aside, and now that was all she saw.
Two quick raps on the door were followed by Suzie popping her head into the room. Esther and Ashley jumped apart. Great. Now Esther looked like she couldn’t be left alone for two minutes with Suzie’s daughter. What a terrible first impression. She hadn’t even noticed how close they’d gotten in the last few seconds.
“Hot toddies are ready, ladies,” Suzie said. “Did you two want some? There’s also strudel.”
“We’re coming,” Ashley said. “Geez.”
“Well, don’t take too long getting ready. Your father isn’t much of a night person, and I bet he wants to see you.”
She closed the door, and Ashley called after her, “And we will have a talk later about the proper way to knock!”
Esther covered her mouth to hide her giggling.
“Oh, this is funny, huh?” Ashley turned on her, lips tight and brow furrowed, but Esther saw how the corner wavered, edging toward a smile.
Esther schooled her face as well. “Of course not. All serious here.”
They made it a whole three seconds before they both burst out laughing.
Esther padded down the hall, her fingertips loosely hooked to Ashley’s as she led them to the kitchen. Mr. Schafer and Suzie were seated at the table, talking, mugs in hand. Susie jumped up as soon as they entered.
“I have your drinks ready.” She ladled two steaming mugs from a pot on the stove and handed them to Ashley and Esther. Esther’s mug had a cartoon cat saying, “To a PAWsome teacher.”
“You two have perfect timing. I was just about to discuss Christmas plans with Dale.” Suzie returned to her seat at the table. “The girls aren’t going to make it to the big Christmas gathering, so we’re planning something for tomorrow night—just the four of us.”
“But don’t worry.” Ashley joined them at the table, taking the seat next to her dad. “We have the whole thing planned. It’ll be so much fun.”
“I’m sure it will be, kiddo.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “It’s nice to have you back.”
Ashley smiled sweetly, and Esther wished she had a camera for this family moment. And then she remembered she was also in the room and standing awkwardly next to the table gawking at them. She grabbed the seat next to Ashley. Her chair scraped loudly against the linoleum floor, breaking the moment. Esther hunched her shoulders and tried to disappear, but Ashley took her hand. It was so sudden and natural Esther briefly forgot it was for show.
Ashley gave her a quick smile before turning back to her dad. “How’d the game go?”
He took a long drink from his mug. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Suzie jumped up and rummaged through cupboards. She wasn’t drunk, but Esther got the impression this wasn’t her first glass.
