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He nodded.
“Your mother?”
“She was the most competitive of all.” His smile was nostalgic. “After the accident, I made a point of bringing my brother and sisters here each year, because I knew my parents would have wished it, but it was never the same.”
“Do you still come out?”
“Yes,” he looked across at her. “It’s gotten easier over time. We don’t do the same things anymore, but we have our own traditions.”
She smiled, but it was tinged with sadness for him. “Like what?”
“Well, we have a very long-running, incredibly bitter Monopoly game,” he said, beginning to walk once more, her hand in his, as they made their way towards the restaurant. As they drew closer, she could see that it was empty, though the lights glowed golden. “And we go out fishing, to see who can catch the biggest fish. Or sometimes it’s the most fish. It depends on what we feel like arguing about that day,” he added.
Sofia was, yet again, pulled between two perfectly opposing feelings. Sweet, sweet pleasure and relief, that he had something so joyous in his life, and sadness that she didn’t really know anything like that. Not that washers.While the Santoros had wrapped her into their world, she wasn’t really one of them, and she’d never been able to fully relax in their affection. Because it meant too much to her. What if they stopped loving her? What if they decided they couldn’t be bothered with her anymore? It was too scary to contemplate, and so she’d refused to give even them that power over her, holding herself a little away from their family time, knowing that while they welcomed her, she didn’t really belong, and one day they might realise that too. After all, if her own mother didn’t love her, then why should they?
“You sound like an excellent older brother.”
“I try to be what they deserve.”
“And what about you, Ares? What do you deserve?”
At the door to the restaurant, he stopped once more and looked down at her. His eyes bore into hers, almost looking through her, with an emotion she couldn’t quite make sense of.
“What I deserve is immaterial. It’s always been about duty for me, ever since the accident.”
“But surely you deserve some consideration too, as a man?”
He lifted a hand and cupped her cheek, his expression taking her breath away, though she still couldn’t place it. “The thing that will make me happiest in the world, in the long term, is doing my parents proud, and being the kind of King my people require.”
“You’re already doing that, aren’t you?”
“My people require me to marry,” he reminded her, dropping his hand but not his eyes. He was probing her now, as if trying to read her, just as hard as she was trying to read him. “I’ve always known that.”
Her heart thumped in her chest and her throat suddenly hurt with the thickening of unshed tears. It caught her totally off guard; Sofia couldn’t remember the last time she’d allowed her emotions to weaken her, nor the last time she’d cried.
“Were you going to marry her?” she asked, softly, even though she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.
He was quiet for a long time and then, with a single nod, he brought something inside of her to a screeching and painful halt. “Yes. That was my plan.”
She should have been grateful for his honesty, as well as the reminder that not quite two months ago, he’d been dating a woman he’d loved enough to want to marry, but for a moment, she just wished he’d lied to her. It would have been easier to hear some polite fib than to have her intuition confirmed.
Ofcourse,he’d loved her. Louisa was clearly a woman deserving of love, whereas she, Sofia, was… She pushed the horrible thought deep, deep down, to experience it later. She didn’t want anything to tarnish this night. Though perhaps that horse had already bolted.
“Are you ready?” he asked, opening the door wide so it was easy for her to step towards it.
She nodded, though in her heart of hearts, she suspected she needed a moment to clear her thoughts.
Despite the lack of clientele, the restaurant was incredibly charming and quaint inside. Nautically themed, it was like an old-fashioned fisherman’s bar, with fishing nets hanging from the ceiling and dark timber tables and chairs.
“I know it’s probably not what you were expecting, but this place is very special to me. I couldn’t let you leave without seeing it.”
Oh, God. Just like that, she felt her heart plummet and sink. Or did it soar? She didn’t know, only she realized that she hated the feeling, or perhaps was terrified of it. Everything he was saying and doing was turning this into somethingelse,something other than what they’d agreed. And she’d known, for days now, that it was growing and changing shape, but she hadn’t doubted, until that moment, that she could handle that change.
Now, she felt as though she were looking into an abyss, with no experience to guide her out of it again.
“Is there a bathroom?” she asked, a little unsteadily.
He glanced down at her, concerned, but nodded. “Over there.” She followed the direction of his hand, towards two bright blue timber doors, and began to walk towards them just as a man in a blue and white striped apron came towards them. She kept walking, head bent, as Ares greeted the man like an old friend.
