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The first wondered,Would itreallybe so bad to stay with her in here? The bed in this roomislarge, and if we were wearing all our clothes…what would be the harm?
The rest, in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Frederick’s, threatened to stake me where I stood for even considering this.She was human, and I’d gotten no sign from her that she wanted our arrangement to continue beyond her cousin’s wedding. The potential for this to end in disaster was huge.
When I’d proposed us spending time together tonight, I’d had no ulterior motives beyond hopefully getting her to relax and make her smile.
I tried, frantically, to think this situation through. But then she tugged on my sleeve again, and looked up at me with frightened eyes, and all ability to reason left me.
“Are you sure?” I asked, quietly. I needed her to be sure.
“I don’t want to sleep alone tonight,” she said again. She sounded embarrassed. “I’m just not used to there being so much empty space here. I can’t handle it during a storm.”
“Okay,” I said. “I don’t sleep much at night. But I’d be happy to stay with you tonight. In here. Just, you know. To sleep.” My mind was shorting out. I was babbling. If I could blush, I would definitely have been doing it then. “To keep you safe from the storm, or…whatever. But I’ll admit I’m a bit confused. Earlier tonight you’d said our kissing was a mistake.”
“This wouldn’t be kissing,” she said, very quickly. “It would just be—”
“Sleeping.”
“Exactly.”
I eyed the space on the bed beside her. There was definitely room for both of us, but what if she woke in the night, more frightened of who was sleeping beside her than the storm? Or worse: What if we ended up touching in the night as we shifted in sleep? My stomach filled with a rash of butterflies at the thought. Her head on my chest. Her legs tangled with mine beneath the covers.
No, a voice that again sounded suspiciously like Frederick’s shouted.
“Would you want to create a barrier between us?” I offered, weakly. “With pillows, or something?” I thought I’d seen people do that on a television show, once. I couldn’t remember how it had worked out for them in the end, but it seemed a sound strategy.
“I’m a pretty deep sleeper,” she said. “I don’t think a barrier is necessary.”
Technically, making space for me was easy. But it didn’t matter that the bed was more than large enough for both of us. The minute I lay down beside her—me on top of the blankets, her beneath them—her presence tugged at me like a magnet. The urge to roll over onto my side and look at her was overpowering.
I didn’t fight it.
She lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling with an intensity that suggested she may have been trying to avoid giving in to her own temptations. Her profile was bathed in the moonlight coming in between the slats in the window blinds.
Why did someone who was so very obviously off-limits have to be so beautiful?
“Goodnight, Amelia.” I was unbearably nervous, every cell in my body hyperaware of her proximity. She smiled, just a little, and my eyes fell helplessly to her lips. I’d been right, earlier, when I’d said that kissing her had been a mistake. Reaching out to trace the shape of her smile with my fingertips would surely be just as foolish.
“Goodnight,” she said, pulling the covers up to her chin.
It was nearly four in the morning, and I knew she was exhausted. Sure enough, she fell asleep almost instantly.
TWENTY-TWO
Excerpt from the BoisterousBulleters Discord Server, #off-topic channel
REGINALD_THE_V:hey
REGINALD_THE_V:I know it’s the middle of the night and you’re all probably sleeping
REGINALD_THE_V:but I’m freaking out. i’m sleeping in A’s bed because she’s afraid of the storm and she said she only wanted to sleep but
REGINALD_THE_V:this is REALLY fucking hard
ANDIFROMAUSTRALIA:ohohoho FINALLY, I’m NEVER awake for the good shit
ANDIFROMAUSTRALIA:when you say “this is REALLY fucking hard” do you mean the situation is hard or that*you*are hard?
REGINALD_THE_V:I meant the situation but…both?
