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I must have blacked out because the next thing I know, Jamie's nose is bleeding and Phillip’s got me in some kind of hold.
“I'm fine. I'm fine,” I grumble. “Let me go.”
“I think you might want to go back to anger management,” he whispers before releasing his hold.
I nod and head off both to get Jamie some ice and to cool down myself.
When I come back, everyone's temper has cooled.
“What's really going on, Jamie? I know you cared about her. What's with the self-sabotage?” Phillip takes a shaky breath. “Is this about Julia?”
Jamie crumples into the couch and my heart breaks for him.
I should have known he'd struggle with this. I should have been looking out for him.
Instead, I'd gotten so lost in the whirlwind of a new relationship that I neglected one of my best friends.
“If I had let myself start to fall in love with her, I would have betrayed every promise I made to Julia,” he says, accepting the ice I offer.
“It’s been seven years, Jamie,” Phillip says gently. “I don’t think Julia would mind.”
“But I mind.” He buries his face in his hands. “I should have told you I was struggling. I’m sorry I ruined everything.”
I settle next to him on the couch and gingerly rest a hand on his shoulder. When he doesn’t shake me off, I give it a comforting squeeze.
“I’m sorry too. I got so caught up in the thrill of things that I didn’t stop to check in on you. That’s not how relationships work.”
“Wesley, have you been listening to anything we’ve been saying?”
Phillip’s question drags me back to reality with an unpleasant jolt. I rub the back of my neck awkwardly.
“I’m going to take that as a no,” he says.
“So, what’s the issue, exactly?” I ask.
“You’d better sit down.”
Phillip talks me through the events of this morning in as neutral a tone as possible. I’m surprised by what happened, but I’m more surprised by the fact that Jamie stays silent and lets him tell it. Especially since the vein in his temple is pulsing faster than strobe lights at a rave.
“It sounds like she might be interested in seeing at least two of us, maybe even the three of us. So why are you so angry, Jamie? What makes you think it’s a mistake?”
“It’s a threat to our jobs at AGU, for one thing. Reginald was already reluctant to give her the scholarship. He might try to use this against her and try to get her kicked out, for another thing, and…”
His head falls into his hands as he trails off.
I take a seat next to him and rest a hand on his shoulder—much like I had on that day ten years ago.
“And what?”
“And I did everything right, damn it.” He slaps his hands on his thighs. “I kept my distance. I kept things professional even though it was agony. She’s been on my mind every waking moment. I haven’t been this fascinated by a woman since Julia. I wanted to break my promise to you guys so many times, but I didn’t because you’re more important than any woman we could run across. And I wanted to do things right. I wanted to be a good teacher. I was going to wait until after she graduated from the program to even approach her in a social capacity. I didn’t want her to feel any kind of pressure from me. If there was any attraction, I wanted it to come naturally.”
“I think that’s completely reasonable.” I nod. “Phillip and I had tried to do that too. I get it.”
“No, you don’t. You two caved. You gave in. Neither of you kept your promise and you still got to be with her, anyway. It’s not right. Why is it that I do everything right and I still always lose?
“I was doing things right with Julia. She wanted kids right after we’d graduated college. I said, no. Told her it wasn’t the right time. There wasn’t enough money. The house we bought was too small to fit both us and a child, and she’d just moved to the country.
“I needed to get my business off the ground so that I could take more time off to be with her and support her like a good husband should. I was going to make sure I was there for her. I convinced her to wait.
