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I'd never understood why Avery felt the need to crawl under her bed and hide as a coping mechanism for when the panic completely took over her body.
I get it now.
32
AVERY
Ican’t believe this. I just poured my heart out to these men and Phillip just gets up and leaves?
What the hell is wrong with him?
Oh, gee, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that you were too mentally deficient to remember your pills and you waited two weeks to tell him that there’s a chance you’re pregnant?
This is all my fault.
“I thought I was doing the right thing by waiting to see if it was just stress making me late. He hates me now, doesn’t he?”
Jamie gives me a sad look. “This has nothing to do with you, Princess. Kids and pregnancies have always been something of a trigger for him.”
“Is that because of his ex-wife?”
“He told you about Mary Elizabeth?” Wesley asks incredulously.
“All he said was that she hurt him and that he was still dealing with the mental fallout of what she did. He hasn’t really said anything to me about it beyond that.”
“I think it’s time for him to tell you. Why don’t you go find him? We’ll be here waiting when you’re done,” Jamie encourages.
“You don’t think that will make things worse with him?”
“It might, but it’s something he should have told you a while ago.”
“Okay.” I start to get up but hesitate at the last second. “You’ll be here if I need you?”
“Of course.”
Phillip is exactly where I expect to find him—outside on the deck, looking up at the stars. He’s so lost in his head, he doesn’t even react when I settle into the chair next to him.
He startles when I put my hand on his arm.
“There’s something we need to talk about, isn’t there?” I ask softly.
“Yes.”
I know what Jamie said, but I can’t help but ask the question. “Are you angry with me?”
“No, not even a little bit.”
“So why did you walk away?”
“Because all of my chickens have come home to roost and even though I knew this would happen one way or another, I’m still angry about it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
When he looks at me, his eyes are empty. “If you actually are pregnant, I won’t be the father.”
He might as well have plunged a knife into my heart.
“If you didn’t want to be involved, all you had to do was say so. There’s no need to be cruel.”
