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“No. I mean, you remember my ex? When we broke up and he was spreading all those rumors about me…it was pretty bad then. But I had no one around to tell me what I was doing.”
“Aw, babe.” Ana’s hand returns to my arm and she squeezes gently. “Well, with the drugging and what happened to your car and everything and exams. That’s a lot of stress. Maybe you need to talk to someone? A professional, I mean.”
“Ana, I can’t afford that.” She means well, I know she does but every scrap of my savings now is going toward paying my father back for the car. I have no space for anything else. “But I mean…maybe it was the last time, y’know? Things are getting better.”
“Because you have three sexy men utterly infatuated with you?” Ana winks at me, then she leans over to the coffee table and picks up her own study materials.
“Honestly?” I chuckle softly. “Yes. This past weekend was amazing. They cooked for me, we cuddled and went hiking. We painted and oh my God…” Warmth spread across my cheeks. “We fucked so much my pussy still aches.”
“Ha!” Ana barks out her amusement, then she points down at me. “You better be careful, though. I don’t know if the pill is strong enough to handle protection against that many healthy swimmers.”
“I’ll be fine.” I wave her off. “Besides, if anything affects me it’ll be the stress, but things are good. I had such an amazing time and I didn’t want it to end. I don’t even care that Asher knows my dad because he wants me. And I want him. And as long as my parents don’t find out—which they won’t because neither of us are gonna tell them. I think…I think I’m happy.”
“Aw,” Ana coos gently as a wide smile settles on my face and refuses to fade. “Look at you, you’re glowing!”
“Shut up.” I shove at her, gently knocking her notepad from her knee as she bursts out laughing. “Seriously though, I feel happy.”
“You’re living a dream,” Ana teases. “Although if Meghan were here, she’d have a heart attack hearing you’re dating three men at once.”
“Oh God.” Groaning, I drink and then set my glass down. “Have you heard from her?”
“A little.” Ana’s smile fades and annoyance flickers in her eyes. “She’ll message me like things are normal but as soon as I mention you, she shuts down. But she does feel guilty because she was asking after you a couple of days ago.”
“Then why won’t she reply to my messages?”
“Because she’s fucking stubborn, and I’m sure there’s something about her strict parents teaching her to never back down even when she’s in the wrong.”
I snort softly. “If only it was that easy. I miss her, but I don’t miss her judgment. If she’s ever going to apologize for what she said, then it better also come with an apology for making me feel like the drugging was my own fault.”
“She’ll come around,” Ana assures me. “She’s got her own shit to work through and we’ll be here when it’s done.”
“Depends on the apology,” I remark sourly.
Ana kicks out one leg and nudges my knee. “Come on, don’t dwell on that. Happy thoughts, right? Or you’ll end up sleepwalking right out into the street or some shit.”
“Make sure I look hot at my funeral!” We burst out laughing and then settle into a good few hours of studying. We pour over notes, essays, and even a few study videos that Finn provided the students with. Trying to keep all of the information in my brain while not getting distracted by how good Finn looked in the videos was tough. Even tougher was the thought of having to sit through a four-hour exam and write an essay on a book I just couldn’t get into.
Thankfully, after a few hours, Ana calls a break. “I’m ordering pizza,” she declares, standing up and stretching her arms high above her head. “You wanna go half-and-half or should we just get two?”
“Two sounds good,” I groan, throwing my pen down onto my notepad. “The way this is going, I’ll be pulling an all-nighter.”
“Gotcha.” Ana ruffles my hair on her way through to the kitchenette and I dig out my phone. There are several words of affection from Finn, Caspian, and Asher in the group chat I created for us all, and I reply quickly with a small anecdote about how much I hate studying.
Then my attention turns to my social media, and my heart sinks slightly. The trolling comments have been getting worse. What was one or two here and there that I could laugh at and ignore, has grown into a constant barrage from more accounts than I can block.
Ana’s talk about pizza fades into the background as I scroll through an overwhelming number of notifications. There are comments about my looks, my weight, and my clothes, insults to my photography skills, and more.
Suddenly my phone is snatched from my hand by Ana, who sucks on her teeth as she flops down next to me.
“You gotta ignore these. It’s all just bots and it’s not good for your mental state,” she says.
“I know,” I sigh, snatching my phone back. “There’s just so many. Did I click on a dodgy link or something?”
“I don’t think there’s ever a reason behind bot accounts like that,” Ana says, moving to read over my shoulder. “They’re just assholes.”
“I just…” As I sigh, warmth stings behind my eyes as a few of the comments cut a little more personal than others. “I can’t help but feel like I’ve upset someone, y’know? And this is how they’re working out their anger.”
“Like who?”
