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“That’s all we need then. The other things will work themselves out. We can marry when you feel ready. You’re only thirty-three.”
“I know, but my father died when I was young, and I want our children to have us around for a long time.”
“You’re not going to die. You’re healthy now. The cancer didn’t spread, and they caught it in time.”
“But suppose I have a reoccurrence?”
“Then we’ll deal with it when it happens.”
“I just don’t want to have babies and leave them, or you.”
“Is there a reason why you’re bringing this up?”
“I want to prepare you for the possibility that I might not be here. I want to give you a chance to run without feeling guilty.”
I look at her, horrified. “What makes you think I want to run?”
“I don’t want you to go through the pain of losing another wife. Did you ever think of that?”
“Did you ever think that you could lose me? Life is precious. Each day is a gift. I could step out onto the street and have a bus hit me, or a tree branch falls on my head when I’m running in the park. I want to live in the here and now. We’re together, and if one day we’re not, then we had a wonderful life together.”
“I just worry. I saw what losing my father did to my mother. It aged her beyond her years.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just wanted to prepare you in case it happens.”
“Olivia, I’m not worried. I love you, and I’m here for the duration.”
She puts her head back on my chest, and in a few minutes, I hear her slow, even breathing that indicates sleep has overtaken her. I have trouble falling asleep because I’m thinking about her words. Could I handle another wife dying? I shake away the thoughts.
The next morning, Olivia is up before me. Not only is she up, but she’s dressed and drinking coffee while watching the morning news before I even workout. I enter the hallway dressed in sweats.
“Sweetheart, is there something wrong?”
“I couldn’t sleep. It’s going to be strange to have you back at Eltech.”
“I could stay out of the office if you want,” I offer.
“No, I know Zane wants you there. He’s been getting upset with the accounting department. They’re not as good as you at figuring out where to slash and add.”
“Who said that? They have some pretty good people.”
“Not like you. Zane told me that. He said he wished you would stop being so stubborn and come back.”
“Well, now he gets his wish.”
I kiss the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her perfume before I hit the treadmill. It’s been a few weeks, and I’m out of condition even though I did a lot of hard work at the cabin. In a half-hour at moderate speed, I’m exhausted and drenched with sweat. I decide not to lift weights and go to the bedroom to get ready for a shower.
Olivia is resting in our bed, fully dressed. Her eyes flutter open when I start to take off my clothes.
“What time did you get up?” I ask, glancing her way.
“Four. But I was up since three.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“Luc, you need your sleep. Just because I can’t doesn’t mean I would disturb you.”
