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“I guess I could stay a night until they fix the heat,” she says glumly.
“I’ll go with you after work so you can pick up some things.”
She nods, and as she passes me, plants a soft kiss on my cheek. It sends a shock of electricity right down to my balls and sends my mind racing. It’s all I can do to pull her back into the break room and get down on one knee. I want to end all this misery already. I can’t take it anymore.
I’m useless for the rest of the day. I sit in my office, gazing at the engagement ring I wear on my pinkie. Time slips by, and she almost catches me when she knocks on my door at the day’s end so we can leave together.
We take a cab to her apartment, and when we get upstairs, the place is like an icebox.
“Geez, it is cold in here.”
“They left a message on my cell saying it would be fixed before five, but I guess that’s come and gone.”
“It’s going to be in the single digits tonight. Lucky you’re staying with me tonight.”
Olivia smiles as she packs up a few items. I want to tell her to pack everything—to be done with this silliness of being apart. But I say nothing as she walks around her bedroom. My mind wanders to the times we spent making love in her bed, and I adjust my pants when she isn’t looking. I’m hard as a rock.
She emerges from the closet with a couple of pairs of slacks and shoves them into the bag. “That should be it.”
She reaches for the bag, but I grab it off the floor before she does.
“I’ve got it.”
“Luc, I can carry my bag.”
“Not while I’m around. I’ll do all the carrying. You just worry about taking care of our baby.”
Olivia lets out an exasperated sigh as she follows me through the apartment to the door. It’s cold out, and even though she insists the short few blocks walk will be okay, I tell her no and get a cab. After we’re in my place, I’m so tempted to put her bag in my room, our room.
“Do you want to see the baby’s room?” I ask.
“Sure, I’d like to see what you did so far.”
I open the door to the nursery and reveal that I’ve painted it a soft green. The same green that I found in the hardware store a few weeks back. It will work whether it’s a boy or girl. I also put in a large beige area rug that almost fills the room.
“No furniture yet?”
“I was hoping you could help me choose,” I say hintingly.
“We should probably get the same stuff for both yours and my apartment.”
“Probably,” I say softly.
“Lucian, is there something wrong?”
“I don’t want this anymore. I’m sick of this shit.”
“I’m sorry. What did I say?”
“Stop apologizing!” I snap.
“I’m sor–”
I grab her by the shoulders and look into her eyes. “I’m done with this. No more! I’ve spent enough time going over everything in my head. It tears me up each time I think about it.”
“Lucian, I can’t make up for what I’ve done. I know you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you! I love you! I’m so sick of pretending I don’t. I’m so sick of carrying this around in my pocket, waiting for the right time.”
