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I reach out my hand, and this time he doesn’t pull away when I go to stroke his cheek. His eyes close at the caress of my knuckles. I’m so in love with this man and his wounded heart. Chase takes my hand and kisses my palm. The moment is broken when CJ’s whimpers come through the baby monitor, but I tell Chase to take a moment as I rise to check on our son.
After Megan leaves to check on CJ, I’m left alone in her bedroom. I look around at all the family photos she has. At my place, I have none of except pictures of her and CJ. My family was never like hers is, all touchy-feely. My father was strict and demanded perfection.
Poor Barrett tried his best, but he wasn’t able to achieve what I did. Schoolwork came easy to me, but Barrett struggled. I suspect he had a learning disability that went undiagnosed, which caused him great frustration.
I wonder what he would look like now, though I sort of know from the incident in Atlanta. It’s a secret I don’t want to reveal to Megan because I’m afraid she’ll pull away. I’m is not sure it was Barrett, but I got a good look for a few seconds until I lost consciousness.
There might be a time when he comes for me, and I’ll have to protect Megan and CJ from his evil. Protect them from his cold, soulless stare and dead heart.
“CJ was just wet. He’s such a little angel that after I changed him, he went back to sleep.”
“Thank you for giving him to me.”
“To us.”
I smile at Chase, hoping that now that he’s revealed his harsh life to me that he can relax a little more. I’m not going to run away because his upbringing wasn’t as wonderful as it could have been.
“Do you want to do something? Watch television or a movie?” Chase asks, his demeanor different.
“I’d rather lie in bed with your arms around me.”
“I can oblige.”
Although being in bed with him instantly conjures up images of wanting to have sex with him, the mood, after what he just told me, is too heavy. I prefer to spend the evening enjoying the comfort of each other.
We quietly undress, and I slip on a short nightgown while Chase strips to his boxers. Because of the time we’ve been together, we both have clothing and personal items planted in each other’s apartments. But I’m not ready to move in with him despite him claiming that it would be easier to live in one place.
I’m not ready to give up my space yet, and I want to get to know him more because a month together is not enough. When it was just sex, Chase had insisted knowing each other wasn’t part of the deal. I kept telling him that we were friends and friends know about each other. It was a vicious cycle, and the conversation never went anywhere. And it usually ended up with him seducing me. I suspect it was to shut me up, which worked.
I slide under the cool sheets, and Chase joins me by putting his head on my stomach. He plants kisses over my womb. I know it’s because he dreams of when I will have another child growing inside me. I don’t say anything as I stroke his hair.
During the night, I hear Chase moaning. I’m not fully awake until he begins thrashing about. Worried, I switch on the bedside light to see if he’ll stop.
“No, Barrett, no!” he calls. “Don’t hurt me!”
When he keeps repeating the words, I try to wake him.
“Chase,” I softly call at first, gently touching his shoulder.
His eyelids spring open, and he fixes his blue eyes on mine.
“Did I wake you? I’m sorry, I–it was a nightmare.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not particularly. I want to go back to sleep.”
I hesitate but turn out the light. I expect him to turn away on his side, but he doesn’t. He curls his body around mine and possessively wraps his arms around my midsection. Whatever dream he was having clearly shook his nerves. He seemed frightened when he woke up, acting almost like it wasn’t a nightmare but a memory.
Chapter 14
The next morning, I wake to an empty bed as well as an empty apartment. CJ is not in his room, which makes me panic until I find a note on the counter.
I went to pick up some breakfast. You need to buy groceries. Hazelnut coffee is on the way. Took CJ with me so he wouldn’t disturb you.
Love,
Chase
