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“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“When?”
“Tonight, after my grandmother’s service.”
I slipped off the stool. “Fine. I’m getting dressed.”
Edith had a beautiful service. Kurt, Ryan, and Marc attended, and I sat with them. Each time I looked up, Austin was eyeing the four of us. When Marc took my hand, he scowled. We had a get together with refreshments at Edith’s neighbor’s apartment after the service was over.
Later, in early evening when Austin and I arrived at my place, we went to our separate bedrooms to change. I was feeling melancholy about the events of the day and also the night before. Austin would be leaving for Los Angeles tomorrow morning, and it would probably be the last time I would see him.
He needed to come back to Edith’s apartment to pack up her belongings, and I was sure he wouldn’t contact me when he did. He was fooling himself if he believed we would be anything more than acquaintances in the future.
I came out of my room first. After the day we had, I needed a glass of wine to calm my nerves. Austin entered the kitchen as I was removing a bottle of white from the refrigerator.
“You want anything?” I asked.
“I don’t suppose you have any beer in there?”
“No. You know I don’t drink it often. I can offer you some wine.”
“You didn’t drink any when you were at my house.”
“I wasn’t feeling well that day and hadn’t for a few days prior. I had a stomach virus. I still very much indulge.”
“I’ll take a glass.”
I poured him some and slid it across the counter. “Do you want to talk about this morning?”
“You mean last night?” he said.
“Both. You said we’d talk.”
“I know it was a dick move to sleep with you, but I can’t get you out of my head sometimes.”
My heart hurt with his admission. “Then why are you marrying her?”
Austin swirled the wine in his glass. “Because we need to move on. We don’t work well together.”
“You really think that? Or is it that you’re afraid I’ll do something you can’t control?”
“I’m not controlling.”
I took a sip of my wine. “But you’ve been fucked over by women before.”
He grimaced. “I couldn’t control you. That was painfully obvious.”
“I tried to compromise, but you wouldn’t have it. You wouldn’t even discuss it with me. It was just over,” I cried.
“Compromising meant giving in, and I wasn’t prepared to do that at the time.”
“What if it happened now? Would you be?”
He took a long gulp of his wine. “Maybe.”
“Does Jessie allow you to control her?”
“She’s less independent than you because she relies on me for financial security.”
