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“I wasn’t naïve. I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it too. He didn’t take advantage of me. I was almost eighteen.”
“But he was what? Twenty, twenty-one? He knew what he was doing.”
It sounds like JC is jealous, and I inwardly smile knowing he’s annoyed he wasn’t my first.
“He was almost twenty-one. We slept together, and just before dawn, I went upstairs to my bedroom.”
“Did you sleep with him again?”
“A few more times. He wanted to date, but with him at Dartmouth and me at NYU, I didn’t want a long-distance relationship.”
“Do you still see him?”
“Of course not.”
“I didn’t mean that way. I meant, do you see him at functions.”
“Well, yes. My mother is good friends with his mother. So parties, graduations, you know, stuff like that.”
I glance at the clock on the wall and realize it’s getting late. JC needs to go because I’m beginning to fall asleep.
“I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to call it a night.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am. Between the long workday and this beer, I’m ready for bed.”
JC drains the last of what’s left in his bottle and hands it to me. I put it in the sink to wash it out for recycling, and I feel his arms embrace me from behind. For a few seconds I close my eyes, remembering what it’s like to be in that place. Then I push him away.
“I’m sorry. I feel so lost right now. I’m not sure what my next move is with Brianna.”
“JC, I’m always here to talk. I want to be friends.”
He gives me a weak smile and pecks me on the cheek. I walk him to the door and see him out. After I close the door, I realize that my heart is pounding in my chest, and I’m breathing heavy. It’s a reaction that shocks me. After all, it’s only JC. He’s part of my past, Noah is my future.
Speaking of Noah, I haven’t heard from him since about five. Usually, he calls me before he goes to bed but it’s nearing eleven and I haven’t heard a word. I check my phone to see if I missed a text and there’s nothing. I’m annoyed but in no mood to deal with him. I want to go to bed.
Fifteen minutes after I brush my teeth and put on my t-shirt, my phone rings. It’s 11:15, and if it’s Noah, he should know better since I’m usually asleep by now on a work night. I glance at my phone and I’m surprised to see it’s JC since he just left here a little while ago.
“What’s wrong? You just left me?”
“I didn’t want to; you made me go.”
I deeply sigh. “So, what is it?”
“I’m home, and it’s too quiet in this place. Remember we used to lie on the pillows in the living room with the lights out and the windows open, listening to the sounds of the city?”
“JC, is there a reason you’re calling me so late?”
“I can’t sleep. I know you won’t, so I thought we would talk until one of us does.”
Is he serious? This isn’t high school, and I’m long past the cheerleader sleepover stage, not that I was one.
“Fine. I’m exhausted, so I’m sure I’ll go first.”
He switches the phone to speaker, and I hear the water running. He must be in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. A couple of minutes go by before I hear him speak.
“You still there?”
