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“Then give me time to think. You owe me that.”
“So, you’re staying?”
“I am, but I can’t share a bed with you. You’re going to have to sleep on that heinous fuck couch in your office or the guest room.”
“I wouldn’t touch you if I slept here.”
“You’re damn right you won’t. I need more sleep. Please go away.”
I watch Noah slide off the bed, take his laptop and walk with hunched shoulders out the door. Good, let him think about what I said. How do you try to explain fucking someone else and then expect me to forgive so easily? I decide to text JC and let him know I’m okay.
We talked.
And?
I’m staying for the time being.
When will I see you?
More than likely, I’ll be at work tomorrow.
I drift off to sleep, and that night, I hear the bedroom door open. Noah is standing in the doorway looking at me. I see his face illuminated by the small blue nightlight we keep on by the bathroom door. He looks older than his thirty-six years. He created his misery and now he’s going to have to wallow in it.
Chapter 21
I trudge into work just before nine. I slept okay the night before, and when I woke up, Noah was locked in his office. The minute he heard me moving around, he came out and offered to make me breakfast. I’m still not feeling well and told him I could make my own tea. I know my tone and actions are hurting him but the punch in the gut I took on Monday is like an open wound.
I didn’t say goodbye when I left. I just walked by his open office door and said nothing. I hope he had a shitty night of sleeping because he deserves it. He called me before I walked out the door, but I ignored him.
Now I’m sitting at my desk, deciding what I should start on. The copy for the Camilla campaign is in the electronic file and I pull it up to take a look. It’s different, it’s good and I see that the sign off for completion has the initials JCL, which means that JC finished it. I’m grateful and again think that if he had been this way when we were together, I wouldn’t be dealing with any of this shit.
We would be several years married and maybe have children by now. I know he wants them. We talked about it all the time. He used to kid me and say he wanted fourteen children. I told him if he didn’t mind screwing a wind tunnel, it was fine with me. After all of those births, I would be stretched to high heaven.
He pokes his head in, disturbing my thoughts.
“How are you this morning?”
“Better but still not one hundred percent.”
“Is everything alright?”
“It’s okay, but I need time and Noah knows that. I’m not going to forgive him so easily. I’m not even sure if we’re going to make it. I have a few months to decide if I want to marry him.”
“I’m glad that you are trying to be levelheaded about this.”
“Levelheaded has nothing to do with it. I’m just not sure I want to start over once again. Maybe I’m being stupid about this, but even with what Noah’s done, I still love him.”
“Is he walking around with tail between his legs?”
“For the most part. I made him sleep elsewhere last night. I couldn’t deal with him being in the same bed as me.”
Nikki shows up and asks JC to move aside so she can enter my office. She’s holding a large white box which can only be flowers.
“This came for you a few minutes ago. Either you did something very good or very bad.”
I didn’t do anything of the sort.
The box is heavy, and inside are two dozen long-stemmed red roses. I don’t have to look at the card because I know they’re from Noah. He’s trying to make it up to me but it’s going to take more than roses to do that. I hand the box to Nikki and ask her to find a vase for them.
