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Nate released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “I’ll get on that assistant thing tonight. Now go eat, drink espresso, refuel, sleep, whatever you need to do. I’ll see you in the morning.”
They left, arguing about something else, and he was glad for the absence of their worry. Nate would be fine, but when other people started to check in and worry about him, it made him feel worse. Anxiety about anxiety was a vicious cycle he didn’t want to get sucked into. Now he also was keeping a secret from them, an added stress. For sure if he told them about Colby, they would lose their minds.
He looked back at the spreadsheet. Three more profiles to go. It really did take forever. Nate had more appreciation than ever for the software Zane built. There were probably other applications for it. He should suggest that Zane apply for a patent like he and Todd had for the matchmaking algorithm. Zane could license it out and make more money.
Focus. Two weeks.
Nate didn’t want to spend any more time testing profiles. The ones he had checked so far were clean. Maybe he had been wrong about Colby.
He should just ask her. It seemed almost too simple and easy. If they were catching up, it was a natural question to ask.
He pulled out his phone. Her number was still in there. Nate had deleted her texts and the voicemails after about a year. He loved the sound of her voice but hearing her disappointment and hurt had been too much. It reminded him of how he had failed her. Maybe he would continue to fail her. Why did he think anything had really changed? He didn’t deserve her. She should have someone normal. Someone she didn’t have to be on edge with, watching the way Zane and Todd did, fearing a break at any moment.
Stop. Come back to the light.
Nate breathed slowly in, spinning the ring on his finger. The motion calmed him, especially if he couldn’t actually get up and do something more physical like running or lifting weights. Both of those things had become a respite for him in the past few years and he was in the best physical shape of his life. For an uncoordinated, non-athletic kid, Nate was shocked at how much he loved working out.
Maybe the gym be a good idea tonight. He needed to calm his wired nerves. Sighing, Nate closed the laptop. Tomorrow he’d finish his profiles and hire an assistant. And figure out the mess with Colby.
Tomorrow.
