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Chapter 10
Nate practically ran through the rest of his route. He wanted to hit up a store before he went back to help Colby. His tiny apartment didn’t really need any kind of prep. Since he didn’t own the place, he never worried about damage. The complex would fix the windows. He barely had any stuff in his apartment, so it’s not like much would get ruined. He kept lots of water on hand all the time and basically lived off pre-packaged food anyway. Nothing like a hurricane to remind you how empty your life is.
Colby looked like she felt the same way. He could see the fear and nerves in her face when he found her on the front porch, trying to hang up the boards. It sent a surge of protectiveness through him. He didn’t want to leave her to try hanging plywood alone. He smirked, remembering her with the hammer and nails. No way that would work with brick. He made a mental note to stop by Home Depot. There was a special kind of screw for that. If the house she was staying in had plywood just hanging out in the garage, there was probably a drill.
It wasn’t an apology in words, but doing something to help Colby felt like a start. An “I’m sorry” with action. Maybe he could find a way to explain. The more time he spent with her, the more comfortable he would feel. With the app broken, his Sewzy/Napper issue was at least temporarily solved. Now if he could just build up the courage to tell her about his anxiety…
Nailing plywood into bricks might be easier.
At the store he bought some simple foods you could make with hot water: ramen, cans of chili with meat sauce, and instant coffee. He didn’t know how Colby took her coffee, so he got a box of those creamers that didn’t need to be refrigerated. He had a camping stove in the back of his car. He liked keeping supplies like that on hand, maybe because he had been a Boy Scout. And maybe because his anxiety made him want to be prepared for anything. He also had an ax, a whole set of clean clothes and shoes, and a sleeping bag back there.
He bought cookies, crackers, and a few boxes of cereal that would be good with or without milk. He smiled, realizing that these were college foods. The kinds of things that he had eaten with the guys in their dorm and then their apartment. Hopefully Colby wasn’t some kind of health nut now. He also picked up a bag with mixed apples and oranges.
If she didn’t have a gas stove that could be lit with a match in case the power went out, he would leave the camping stove with her. Most of the food he could leave there as well. He didn’t need much. Maybe this was a little over the top for one person, but you never know with hurricanes. The power could be out for a week or more.
Lines were long at the store, most people’s carts were filled with water, milk, bread, and beer. Nate kept checking the time on his phone, every so often checking the app. Still down. Todd had messaged him that morning, saying that he was hopeful. He thought he might have full control again later that night or tomorrow. It was going to be okay. They would restore the app, launch on time, and he could find Sewzy again.
Loading up and heading to Colby’s, Nate tried going over how to talk with Colby about his anxiety. It shouldn’t be that hard to talk to her. He couldn’t remember hearing her ever say anything negative. She hadn’t been the kind of person who would judge him or think less of him.
People talked more these days about mental health. It was more common with a greater understanding. So many people spoke up about their struggles. Why was this so hard for him?
He knew why: he didn’t want to lose her.
You already did, by not telling her.
She was still hurt—he could tell from all the passive-aggressive and little digs. If he told her and she didn’t want to have a relationship with him, he hadn’t lost anything. She barely spoke to him now, having her not speak to him in the future wasn’t that different.
Except he really wanted a different future. He was holding out for one where she gave him another chance.
He should tell her today. While he was helping her, he would tell her the truth, apologize, and see what happened. With the hurricane, she’d have at least a few days where she would be stuck at home with nothing to do other than think about things.
He pulled up to her house and drove his car up into the driveway. Carrying the grocery bags, he walked to the front porch. The plywood still sat by the window. Colby answered after the first knock, like she’d been hovering by the door. She looked even more nervous than she had earlier and looked relieved to see him there. She gave him a tiny smile.
“I was starting to think…”
“That I wasn’t coming?” he said. “Sorry—I stopped by the store to get you a few things. Can I bring them in?”
She stepped aside, holding the door. “You didn’t have to do that. Are there more things in the car?”
“No, that’s fine. I’ve got one or two more things I’ll get in a minute.”
He followed Colby to the kitchen and set the bags on the granite countertop. “This is a nice house,” he said.
“It belongs to my friend Liz. Her husband is in oil and gas, so they’re in Scotland for the year. Well. They were. Now they’re coming back in a few weeks.”
It was harder that he thought to pretend like he didn’t already know this through his conversations with her on the app. “Oh, wow. Where will you go next? It would be hard to get used to this space and then have to go smaller.”
“Yeah, I’ve been really spoiled. I found a little garage apartment that’s not far from here. It’s pretty great. I mean, it’s not a whole house. But this is a lot to keep up with by myself. Plus, I’m surrounded by other people’s stuff here. It gets a little bit weird sometimes. You know, having pictures of other people all over the place and their stuff in the closets and drawers.” She unloaded one of the bags. “Ramen? Canned chili?”
Nate began organizing things into piles on the counter. “I figured if the power went out, you’d need some simple foods that didn’t need to be refrigerated.”
“But how will I cook if the power’s out?” She stared at him.
“I’ve got that covered. Be right back.”
Nate jogged out to the car and grabbed the green metal camping stove from the trunk, along with two cans of butane and the teapot. The camping stove had a handle like a metal suitcase and he was able to awkwardly get things back to the door, which he’d left ajar.
“What’s all this?” Colby looked suspicious.
