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“I know men like you—a lost boy with lots of anger and nowhere to release it. The difference, however, is that you kill out of necessity. We kill for enjoyment.” Luca makes a point toward the hounds. “When you face your father, you’ll have to unleash any human restrictions you’ve ever had. You’ll have to become a monster to defeat him.”
I have many times before. I don’t need his condescending tone or lecture. I know he’s purposefully antagonizing me, and it’s fucking working because I lunge again. When he goes to dodge, I’m already in front of him and throw punch after punch after punch, unrelenting, until I back him against the wall. He’s blocking, the smile behind eerily creeping wider.
He breaks, and I stumble back, but not before kicking into his side. I can tell I got a good hit in, but it does little to move his position. My lip curves up, and I can’t help but start to enjoy the adrenaline coursing through my veins. That wild storm of emotion is still there but finally transmuting into something else.
Something I didn’t want Elanee to see entirely. A tiny flutter of guilt grows in the pit of my stomach for the way I spoke to her. It turns into wildfire as I think of her toes, the graphic mutilation coming to mind. Before I know it, I’m back on Luca, swinging fist after fist. Taking hit after hit and landing my own.
The Lion had taken everything from me. Even the woman I loved.
Even…
The numbing tingles slow the left side of my body.
Fuck.
My body is betraying me once again.
Luca takes the advantage, circling around me and slamming me headfirst into the wall. He holds me from behind, and a dangerous edge to his tone whispers into my ear. “Are you sure you can fight as a walking dead man? That’s the second time now you’ve glitched.”
My teeth grind together as I realize with sudden clarity that besides Layla knowing, there is one other person who knows my secret. Luca releases me, and it’s slow, but my body returns obediently.
“You know,” I say as I turn around to face him. Luca looks at me, mock offended.
“Intel is power, is it not? As I said, whether you finish the job or not, I will. But you’re going to die in the process with a body like that.”
My jaw clenches as he throws my shirt toward me. I catch it with ease, my body fulling cooperating now. I curse under my breath, pissed by my apparent weakness. “When did you figure it out?” I grit through my teeth. Because if he knew, who else might?
“I noticed the slight hesitation the first time we fought in the ring, so I did my own investigating. No matter how much you pay the best doctors, I can always pay a higher price. Or threaten their loved ones,” he says casually. “This only just confirmed it. You’re nothing but a wounded animal going into a fight, so might I make a suggestion? Before your fight, say your goodbyes. Because I doubt you’re making it out of this alive.”
I fist my shirt, pissed by the condescending tone he takes. Had it been only twelve months ago, everything else would’ve been different. But this is the only time I have now.
I know my chances in my current state might be slim against The Lion, but I promised I wouldn’t give up until I got Elanee out.
Guilt floods me in the way that I spoke to her and treated her.
It was only days ago that I told her I loved her, and now I’ve treated her less than dirt.
Why did I say all of those things to her?
Was that really how I felt? It feels murky, and I can’t recall all of the hurtful things I said, but I know it’s bad.
I hadn’t even realized I was lashing out. I’d only ever intended to make sure she was okay.
So why…
My fists bundle with a burning hatred toward myself.
Even if I blame my illness on this, I can never forgive myself for making her cry like that.
I’m swallowed into my self-loathing but try to push through it to focus on only one thing.
Killing The Lion.
What didn’t change was that I was still willing to die for her.
51
DMITRI
