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“And we very much enjoyed the experience with you. Don’t worry, I won’t kiss and tell.” She smirks, and I offer a polite one in return. She signs a check and hands it over. “I’ll be moving to Philadelphia since Marco lives there, but if you’re in town, maybe give us a call. I’m sure there’s so much more you can teach us.”
Goosebumps erupt along my skin, and that sorry bitch of a sister is so lucky I can’t get my hands on her right now. Until I see the figure on the check. “This is too much!”
She laughs and waves her hand. “Remember what I said. Money doesn’t matter when it comes to love. And other things.” She steps out of the room, and I’m left feeling like I’ve just received payment for sexual activities I wasn’t even involved with.
I look at the amount. I’d always been grateful for my parents funding my education. Although I never thought I’d be a matchmaker, I also had no idea what I wanted with my life going forward besides a career as a ballet dancer. I was put into this position because it suited me by chance. One of The Lion’s cousins wanted to get married, but hated dating, so in some twisted way I’d been put to the test: a test that earned me a paycheck and one he let me keep.
I wonder what I could do with one hundred thousand dollars. That’s the amount in front of me. But when I’ve had checks of this magnitude, I’ve always been too scared to cash them. I know everything I own belongs to him. At any moment, he could freeze my accounts and leave me stranded entirely.
I know this because he’d already done it to me once in Russia. He left me in a bad part of town, and for the first time, when men pushed and pulled at me, I was stricken with fear to realize I might become like the other girls. The ones who were shipped off, and then The Lion swept in like my savior as he killed them without question.
That was the first time he toyed with me. And I’d fallen for it, apologized, and promised I’d never disobey him again. Then, slowly, over time, he began forbidding me from going out with my girlfriends. And then ensured I’d miss practices to entertain him personally. And so, I was forced to dance and dance and dance until he said I could stop.
The truth is that I was thrown out of my studio in my third year because of him. Shortly after was when I tried to leave Russia again, but that was abruptly stopped and my eyes widened to my trapped situation.
Guilt wells in my chest because I hadn’t been entirely honest to Dmitri about all the things his father had done to me. He’d hate me if he did. He’d most likely think me sullied. I fold into myself, trying my hardest to fight against The Lion’s intentional conditioning. I’m aware it’s happening. But it doesn’t make the internal battle any less complicated.
My phone buzzes against the desk, and a chill runs down my spine as if the thought itself summoned the devil.
I answer. “Hello, my Lion.”
“Ah, my little dove. How was your trip to Texas?” He purrs with his thick Russian accent.
My heart skips its next beat. Does he know about Dmitri and my sister? Is he toying with me again? I swallow the paranoia.
“It was just fine, my Lion. My client was satisfied and I was handed a big check just now.”
“A big check, huh?” He patronizes. “Good, it’s nice to hear all your hard work is paying off. Have you made any friends in the Big Apple yet?”
“N-no, my Lion. I just enjoy my daily walks and work.”
“Good. Tell me, have you, by chance, run into my son there yet?”
My throat locks up. Does he know? But then he had always asked about him, slyly at first. But in the last two years, he left behind any mystery or tact that I was being used solely because of my association with Dmitri in college. Was this any different?
“No, my Lion. Not since he broke into the last apartment and tried to steal me away.”
“Strange, I thought he would’ve made another attempt by now.”
I focus on my breathing. Does he know I’m lying? Had he seen us? Does he know about us?
I remind myself of what Dmitri said: I wasn’t constantly being watched. That The Lion had layered me in a world of paranoia, but that didn’t take away from its effectiveness.
“When will you come to see me?” I ask, and I try to sound excited, but know my voice trembles with trepidation. He feeds off the terror, and I hate that I’ve been so easily trained to give it to him even when I try my hardest not to.
“In due time, little dove. In due time.” And I can imagine the smile as he smokes a cigar.
Nothing but a game.
I was but a pawn to pass time.
The phone cuts out.
22
ELANEE
Idon’t even have to flash my bracelet at the entrance this time. The security guard opens the door and I fill myself with courage. I think of Dmitri and my sister and how they conduct themselves.
