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“It’s like this,” I tell him. “When you have money, the world is at your fingertips. The only thing that separates you from anything is skill. You aren’t worried about affording shoes or whether you have enough cash for tickets to the event you want to go to. You aren’t concerned with how you’ll afford skills-based learning or classes. It’s all just easy.”
“I understand,” he says. “I shouldn’t have made assumptions.”
“Do you ever wonder what it’s like?”
“All the time. I didn’t ask for this.”
“Your dad sounds like he was a dick,” I say.
“The worst.”
“Mine wasn’t.”
“You remember your dad?”
“I was young when he died. My brother was younger. Dad was taken far too soon. Aaron and I...we were lost without him. There were moments, though, when I realized that I was going to miss Dad more than Aaron.”
“Why?”
“Because I had more time with my dad. I had more to lose.”
Ryan considers this. “You don’t seem angry at your dad for dying.”
“He was the best thing I’ve ever lost,” I say.
“I wish I felt that way about my father.”
“You don’t miss him?”
Ryan shakes his head. “My dad was the biggest monster you can possibly imagine. May he rot in hell.”
28.
Ryan
Work seems to fly by. We retreat to our own homes after but stay up late talking. I miss her when she’s not around, I realize. I start to make plans for a trip. I think it would be lovely for the two of us to go somewhere. Anywhere. I’m aware of the fact that she is uncomfortable with money, so it won’t be somewhere lavish. It’ll be somewhere else. Someplace simple. Quiet.
I hire a private investigator and ask them to look into Alex’s missing brother. I don’t have much to go off of, but I also don’t want to ask her for more information. She’s already traumatized enough as it is. Do I really need her to stress more about him?
I don’t.
I really don’t.
It’s the middle of a Tuesday when Phoenix and I finally have a meeting scheduled with Allison. This is going to be our chance to confront her, but I’m irritated when the day of the meeting arrives. It took too long to schedule. I’m annoyed.
